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joeyfarlz
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11 Aug 2011, 6:24 am

Ancalagon wrote:
Tica wrote:
What happened to the men opening our door, pulling out our chair or even using manners?

Short answer: Feminism happened to them. (Except for the manners part.)

Long answer: Lots of the old-fashioned manners are out of style, and not everyone even remembers what they were exactly. Probably the best way to get one is to find someone polite, and explain your exact feelings on door-opening and so forth.


One of my ex-boyfriends used to pull out chairs and open doors for me...



AsteroidNap
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11 Aug 2011, 11:25 am

LadySera wrote:
I think chivalry is nice sometimes. I'm not big on socialization but not long ago I went to a bar for a few drinks. An older man started buying them for me. It was pleasantly out of the ordinary. Conversely I like to dress up for that type of thing. I guess I'm sort of old school in that reserve. The guy was complimenting me on lots of stuff I just like to do naturally when I go out, such as perfume, makeup and having my nails done. I realized it was sort of like we were unicorns to each other. I am used to dressing like that from where I used to live and people got ready to go out. Here I looked around and the other girls in my age range were all wearing cut off shorts and flip flops.


And why do you think he was buying them for you? Chivalry???



AsteroidNap
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11 Aug 2011, 11:40 am

AngelRho wrote:
blah, blah, blah.. feminazi.. blah, blah, blah.


Whatever your argument, whatever point you were trying to make, is utterly lost once you pull out this BS term. You know it's a BS term, but you just had to go there, didn't you. I thought this community was better than that...but I guess you find all types even here.



CaroleTucson
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11 Aug 2011, 12:15 pm

It's astonishing to me to see the hatred and vitriol directed at women on this site, and for the stupidest things. You curse at us and call us disgusting names simply because for centuries it's been a cultural norm that men hold open a door for women??? Good lord, get a dose of reality here and grow up, for chrissake.

Personally, I'm very wary when a man makes a point of calling himself a "gentleman" simply because he opens my door. I've seen too many men who open literal doors and close figurative ones, if you get what I'm saying. Holding a door doesn't mean a damn thing when women are paid sixty cents on the dollar compared to men, or when women are held back or even fired because they were too "uppity" in the corporate office.

Sometimes I think that the most glaring aspie symptom of all is ... an appalling lack of perspective.



mv
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11 Aug 2011, 12:17 pm

CaroleTucson wrote:
Sometimes I think that the most glaring aspie symptom of all is ... an appalling lack of perspective.


:hail:

Most of the time I read the horses**t on here and my first response is scorn, but then I dial it back and think to myself: okay, many of those people are commenting out of youth and complete ignorance. It's pretty obvious, once you look at it that way...



CaroleTucson
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11 Aug 2011, 12:26 pm

mv wrote:
CaroleTucson wrote:
Sometimes I think that the most glaring aspie symptom of all is ... an appalling lack of perspective.


:hail:

Most of the time I read the horses**t on here and my first response is scorn, but then I dial it back and think to myself: okay, many of those people are commenting out of youth and complete ignorance. It's pretty obvious, once you look at it that way...


I think you're right :)



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11 Aug 2011, 1:33 pm

i am super-paranoid and oversensitive to any signs of "chivalry".

given the choice i'll pay 100% of the bill, bring presents for my date, open doors, put a man's coat on him, etc. if my date wants to do these things for me too, then we can shift the balance so that we keep it equal and both do things for each other and split the bill.

i suppose i feel a certain backlash against the ways of the olden days. i am proud that i am strong and financially independent so i would never want to go back to the days when i would be dependent on a man for certain things. i see these "chivalrous" actions as paternal displays of power, and i like to enact the same impression.

EDIT: i don't fuss around if someone offers to do stuff for me. i accept or decline... politely.


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Ancalagon
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11 Aug 2011, 5:38 pm

CaroleTucson wrote:
It's astonishing to me to see the hatred and vitriol directed at women on this site, and for the stupidest things. You curse at us and call us disgusting names simply because for centuries it's been a cultural norm that men hold open a door for women???

Was there really a lot of name-calling or vitriol? I don't really remember any, and even the 'feminazi' thing seems more likely an overblown criticism of feminism than of women.

Quote:
Holding a door doesn't mean a damn thing when women are paid sixty cents on the dollar compared to men, or when women are held back or even fired because they were too "uppity" in the corporate office.

This is true, but what's the problem? Is it door-opening, or is it the 'uppity women' thing?

Quote:
Sometimes I think that the most glaring aspie symptom of all is ... an appalling lack of perspective.

I'm pretty sure this is also an NT symptom.


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AsteroidNap
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11 Aug 2011, 6:05 pm

Ancalagon wrote:
I don't really remember any, and even the 'feminazi' thing seems more likely an overblown criticism of feminism than of women.


The invective 'feminazi' infuriates me to no end. It is profoundly disrespectful on so many levels, to so many people. It likens the feminist movement to one of the most horrendous movements in human history under Fascist Germany. This term attempts to undercut the countless positive influences that the feminist movement has had. Simultaneously, it disrespects the awful legacy perpetrated on the Jewish people.

When someone uses it, it tells me they have no understanding of this, and are simply regurgitating propaganda they've heard, and thus should be ignored really.

When someone uses it, it also tells me they're just as likely to use terms like 'slut', 'whore', 'hysterical'...the list goes on...terms all used to 'put women in their place'.

If one has an issue with Feminism, then debate it. Don't resort to invectives because one's argument is failing.



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11 Aug 2011, 6:12 pm

AsteroidNap wrote:
Ancalagon wrote:
I don't really remember any, and even the 'feminazi' thing seems more likely an overblown criticism of feminism than of women.


The invective 'feminazi' infuriates me to no end. It is profoundly disrespectful on so many levels, to so many people. It likens the feminist movement to one of the most horrendous movements in human history under Fascist Germany. This term attempts to undercut the countless positive influences that the feminist movement has had. Simultaneously, it disrespects the awful legacy perpetrated on the Jewish people.

When someone uses it, it tells me they have no understanding of this, and are simply regurgitating propaganda they've heard, and thus should be ignored really.

When someone uses it, it also tells me they're just as likely to use terms like 'slut', 'whore', 'hysterical'...the list goes on...terms all used to 'put women in their place'.

If one has an issue with Feminism, then debate it. Don't resort to invectives because one's argument is failing.

i :heart: this post.


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MXH
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11 Aug 2011, 6:30 pm

AsteroidNap wrote:
Ancalagon wrote:
I don't really remember any, and even the 'feminazi' thing seems more likely an overblown criticism of feminism than of women.


The invective 'feminazi' infuriates me to no end. It is profoundly disrespectful on so many levels, to so many people. It likens the feminist movement to one of the most horrendous movements in human history under Fascist Germany. This term attempts to undercut the countless positive influences that the feminist movement has had. Simultaneously, it disrespects the awful legacy perpetrated on the Jewish people.

When someone uses it, it tells me they have no understanding of this, and are simply regurgitating propaganda they've heard, and thus should be ignored really.

When someone uses it, it also tells me they're just as likely to use terms like 'slut', 'whore', 'hysterical'...the list goes on...terms all used to 'put women in their place'.

If one has an issue with Feminism, then debate it. Don't resort to invectives because one's argument is failing.


the whole feminazi thing started not because of the rights women had gained, but of the way most hardcore feminists seem to want to blame everything on men and not accept that maybe it is part womens fault that they have allowed the words slut, whore and so on to be used for all this time. You cant let a dog pee on your carpet for years and then expect him not to do it again.



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11 Aug 2011, 7:09 pm

MXH wrote:
AsteroidNap wrote:
Ancalagon wrote:
I don't really remember any, and even the 'feminazi' thing seems more likely an overblown criticism of feminism than of women.


The invective 'feminazi' infuriates me to no end. It is profoundly disrespectful on so many levels, to so many people. It likens the feminist movement to one of the most horrendous movements in human history under Fascist Germany. This term attempts to undercut the countless positive influences that the feminist movement has had. Simultaneously, it disrespects the awful legacy perpetrated on the Jewish people.

When someone uses it, it tells me they have no understanding of this, and are simply regurgitating propaganda they've heard, and thus should be ignored really.

When someone uses it, it also tells me they're just as likely to use terms like 'slut', 'whore', 'hysterical'...the list goes on...terms all used to 'put women in their place'.

If one has an issue with Feminism, then debate it. Don't resort to invectives because one's argument is failing.


the whole feminazi thing started not because of the rights women had gained, but of the way most hardcore feminists seem to want to blame everything on men and not accept that maybe it is part womens fault that they have allowed the words slut, whore and so on to be used for all this time. You cant let a dog pee on your carpet for years and then expect him not to do it again.


Thats alot down to gender feminism which some of it pisses this equity feminist off. Most of gender feminism seeks to create an gender inequality. Domestic violence, child custody, sexual harassment, divorce, sexual objectification and sexual assault ARE NOT GYNOCENTRIC, gender feminists forget that fact and when do acknowledge that thoses things affect men as well they only sweep it under that carpet as it takes away from there gynocentic propaganda.

Second-wave and third-wave feminism created this issue of gender feminism, it also created the Ladettes and the Female Chauvinist Pigs. Its now getting to the point the once former oppressed gender are becoming the oppressors!



LadySera
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12 Aug 2011, 1:59 am

InsomniacDreams wrote:
LadySera wrote:
I think chivalry is nice sometimes ...Conversely I like to dress up for that type of thing. I guess I'm sort of old school in that reserve. The guy was complimenting me on lots of stuff I just like to do naturally when I go out, such as perfume, makeup and having my nails done. I realized it was sort of like we were unicorns to each other. I am used to dressing like that from where I used to live and people got ready to go out. Here I looked around and the other girls in my age range were all wearing cut off shorts and flip flops.


Are your nails real? I ask because mine have finally in the last couple months grown back from freezing off some time ago, and I keep them polished and shaped nicely and people seem fascinated by them. The cut-off shorts and flip flops are everywhere. Sadly, I was disappointed to find-out that wearing pj bottoms seems to be as well.


*Off Topic, Anais Nin, very interesting individual, not one I see many have avatars of either, cool*


Yes, my nails are real. They get pretty long & then when like 2 break off I always cut the rest. They grow back quickly though. I've never had a professional manicure. I've seen my sister get them & I'd be uncomfortable with the stranger touching me. That's cool that you do yours too.

I think that she is too.

AsteroidNap wrote:
LadySera wrote:
I think chivalry is nice sometimes. I'm not big on socialization but not long ago I went to a bar for a few drinks. An older man started buying them for me. .


And why do you think he was buying them for you? Chivalry???


No, I'm not an idiot. He was trying to sleep with me. However men in my generation have begged me for drinks while trying to sleep with me. I did make it clear that I wasn't going to sleep with him. However he was very interesting so I enjoyed his stories.



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12 Aug 2011, 3:02 am

Who, exactly, are these man-hating feminists?
Can someone please toss out a name/organization, as-representative of a billions-strong philosophy?
Or are we done stabbing at self-conjured imaginary phantoms?


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CaroleTucson
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12 Aug 2011, 10:33 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Who, exactly, are these man-hating feminists?


Very good question. I'm sure they exist somewhere, but I personally don't know any. Frankly, I've encountered far more woman-hating men (especially on this site!) than the opposite.

And it always bothers me when "feminist" and "man-hating" are thrown together. Exactly what does one have to do with the other? I consider myself to be a strong feminist, but I most certainly do not hate men. How does wanting equal opportunities and equal treatment in the law equate to hating men??? Sheesh.



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12 Aug 2011, 11:23 am

You might wish to look at the definitions of gynocentric and gynocentrism.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gynocentric
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gynocentrism

If I wished to refer to "man-hating" I would of used the term misandry.