Romantic interest preferences

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Which do you or would you prefer as a romantic partner: an NT or a fellow Aspie?
I prefer an NT. 9%  9%  [ 5 ]
I prefer an Aspie. 17%  17%  [ 9 ]
It doesn't matter; both are ok. 49%  49%  [ 26 ]
I don't like either of the two choices. 2%  2%  [ 1 ]
I don't know. 23%  23%  [ 12 ]
Total votes : 53

I_am_Kira
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11 Aug 2011, 10:16 pm

Many Aspies, including myself, have varying degrees of hostility toward NTs for a varity of reasons, a major one being failed romance(s) with NTs. With this in mind, how many Aspies prefer NTs? Or other Aspies? Or perhaps you don't like either? Or both? Or maybe you don't really know? Feel free to discuss your reasons for your preferences or lack thereof.



AsteroidNap
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11 Aug 2011, 10:26 pm

I've never dated someone with AS, so not sure how it would go. I do know that the relationships I've had that were most successful were with women who were extremely open, forward, expressive, and wore their emotions on their sleeves.

Having said that, I'm more open to new experiences (more so than say ten years ago).



orchidee
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11 Aug 2011, 10:27 pm

I am an NT woman dating a man with AS. I marked that it doesn't matter to me because honestly I never thought about it before dating my boyfriend. I knew he had it; I didn't think it would affect our relationship like it has. (That isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just something I did not fully understand beforehand.)

We have been dating for 9 months, which is my longest-ever relationship. All of my former boyfriends have been NT, but obviously this is my best relationship. So with me it's neutral. I didn't date my boyfriend because he has AS but it's not something I'd avoid either.



Grisha
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11 Aug 2011, 10:31 pm

I'm not very prolific with relationships, but theoretically I'd (really) like to date an Aspie.

I figured we could tolerate/understand (and maybe even enjoy) each other's non-social weirdness... :wink:



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11 Aug 2011, 10:33 pm

Hmm I think an Aspie girl would be really be great for me!



Henbane
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11 Aug 2011, 11:13 pm

I'm not really fussed.

I tend to be attracted to odd people anyway.

The eccentric, or the geek, or the loner. Even if they are NT, they're probably not very NT. If that makes any sense.



sagan
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11 Aug 2011, 11:32 pm

:heart: Aspie :heart:
Being weird together sound perfect.

NTs always have a problem with me anyways, I never act normal enough for them, so I am done trying... :)


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Jory
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11 Aug 2011, 11:38 pm

I wouldn't mind dating another Aspie, since we would probably understand each other much better than NTs understand me. Then again, I do a lot of things that would probably piss me off if someone else was doing it. I can imagine myself laying in bed with someone after sex, trying to drift off to sleep, and then: "Goddamnit, will you STOP TAPPING YOUR FINGERS ON THE BED FRAME?!"



HybridAP
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11 Aug 2011, 11:40 pm

sagan wrote:
:heart: Aspie :heart:
Being weird together sound perfect.

NTs always have a problem with me anyways, I never act normal enough for them, so I am done trying... :)


Normal is overrated. Who wants to be like every other person out there with nothing really special about them? I enjoy being weird! It just makes me feel so loose and uncaring about what others think. Only problem is when people I meet don't really like being taken out of their comfort zone and dealing with something different, but meh, that's their problem.


Now if you'll excuse, there is a hippo on a unicycle in my yard and I must find out if he can juggle. Check that step off of world domination plans...



ToadOfSteel
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11 Aug 2011, 11:43 pm

My romantic preference is for that rare (practically non-existent) woman that would actually see some value in me... regardless of aspie status.



sagan
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11 Aug 2011, 11:55 pm

Jory wrote:
I wouldn't mind dating another Aspie, since we would probably understand each other much better than NTs understand me. Then again, I do a lot of things that would probably piss me off if someone else was doing it. I can imagine myself laying in bed with someone after sex, trying to drift off to sleep, and then: "Goddamnit, will you STOP TAPPING YOUR FINGERS ON THE BED FRAME?!"


Hm, do you think that an Aspie Aspie relationship / friendship has better chances than NT / Aspie relationship? Would you really understand each other better?

I know no real life Aspies, and have always wondered if I would get along better with Aspies, or if this is just wishful thinking.


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HybridAP
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11 Aug 2011, 11:58 pm

sagan wrote:
I know no real life Aspies, and have always wondered if I would get along better with Aspies, or if this is just wishful thinking.


You never know unless you try.



Jory
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11 Aug 2011, 11:59 pm

sagan wrote:
Hm, do you think that an Aspie Aspie relationship / friendship has better chances than NT / Aspie relationship? Would you really understand each other better?


No idea, but I'm sure that the NT people I've dated wanted someone more "normal" than me.



ValentineWiggin
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12 Aug 2011, 12:05 am

I put "I don't know"-

I'd like to think a fellow Aspie would understand many of my, urm, quirks,
and an NT would have the emotional sensitivity/intelligence to deal with them,
but I'm not sure I'd be able to deal with a fellow Aspie, especially one who needed lots of "space" away from me,
nor how easy it would be to find an NT who can be supportive of someone he can't truly understand.


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SilverShoelaces
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12 Aug 2011, 12:32 am

My boyfriend is a NT geek--his social circle includes a lot of people with autistic spectrum traits. So though he isn't on the spectrum, he at least understands many of my near-normal weird behaviors. But the weirder ones, the ones that I generally tend to hide from people, not so much. Even so, he is very understanding and has outright stated that he prefers having to deal with my weird behaviors to tolerating some of the needs and wants of a typical girl. (I can sometimes be more masculine than he is, which occasionally embarrasses him but is apparently better than some incessant desire for shoes.)

And he is also very patient with and accepting of my asexuality, and understands that my needs in a relationship are fundamentally different from those of a girl with sexual desires.

He is my first boyfriend (and likely my only one, regardless of whether or not we break up, because I'm not really interested in dating or romance or other people nearly as much as I am interested in him specifically), by the way. I need to be really close to a person to even consider the possibility of dating--whoever it is needs to know my quirks and boundaries from day one. I don't know if I would be able to date someone on the spectrum unless that person was also asexual, but then, I don't know if I would even want that, because it's fulfilling enough just having friends around. I don't know that for a fact unless I try, of course, but it's not likely I will be trying it anytime soon....