Dramatic changes after the breakup of a relationship

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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30 Aug 2011, 11:38 pm

What are your thoughts on people that do this?

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Esther
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31 Aug 2011, 12:31 am

You mean like asking yourself, "Wow. Is this the person I actually married? This person now? Is it even the same person?"

If yes, then after all these years, it's still a mystery to me.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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31 Aug 2011, 12:42 am

Esther wrote:

You mean like asking yourself, "Wow. Is this the person I actually married? This person now? Is it even the same person?"

If yes, then after all these years, it's still a mystery to me.

Something like that. Like a person that was iffy about their partner getting a tattoo, then when they divorce he suddenly shows up with a rather large and loud one.

Or someone that claimed to be completely straight throughout a long-term relationship and suddenly comes out of the closet after the break-down of said relationship.

Or a hard-working, family oriented person suddenly shirks responsibilities in favor of partying.

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purchase
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31 Aug 2011, 1:13 am

I know nothing about this firsthand but I'd guess it's cause every pair of people creates their unique little world by compromising with each other and if the relationship breaks up the person then is free to do things that would not work in the relationship or at least try out things.

minervx
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31 Aug 2011, 2:39 am

i have no experience in this subject, so i am looking forward to other peoples responses

nick007
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31 Aug 2011, 2:42 am

I have some experience with that when i broke up with my ex 8 years ago. I was very frustrated, hurt & angry amongst lots of other emotions. & one of my ways of dealing was by rebelling against things that I felt caused problems in the relationship or maybe it wasn't so much rebelling but rather I wanted to improve myself to fix those problems

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Grisha
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31 Aug 2011, 7:09 am

I did this myself after my divorce - I tried to change everything I possibly could about myself - I think it helped me to make the necessary adjustments though...

emlion
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31 Aug 2011, 7:14 am

I think it depends on if they're genuine changes they've always wanted to make or they're just an act to "prove" something to the person they broke up with/got left by.

hale_bopp
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31 Aug 2011, 7:29 am

It also depends how much pain is involved. When I guy I was in love with moved overseas. I wanted to do a complete overhalul, dye my hair black, get tattoos and pericings and wear leather.

Obres
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31 Aug 2011, 11:27 am

hale_bopp wrote:

It also depends how much pain is involved. When I guy I was in love with moved overseas. I wanted to do a complete overhalul, dye my hair black, get tattoos and pericings and wear leather.

lol what? That's all wrong. If you're gonna go all goth about it you're supposed to sit in your room cutting yourself while listening to "The Cure".

nick007
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31 Aug 2011, 11:39 am

Obres wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

It also depends how much pain is involved. When I guy I was in love with moved overseas. I wanted to do a complete overhalul, dye my hair black, get tattoos and pericings and wear leather.

lol what? That's all wrong. If you're gonna go all goth about it you're supposed to sit in your room cutting yourself while listening to "The Cure".

It's a lot better than getting depressed & getting called EMO a lot for constantly whining about it to most everyone like I did

pree10shun
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31 Aug 2011, 11:55 am

hale_bopp wrote:

It also depends how much pain is involved. When I guy I was in love with moved overseas. I wanted to do a complete overhalul, dye my hair black, get tattoos and pericings and wear leather.

This exactly. When I broke up with my ex I was still in love with him. I sort of changed everything about myself (appearance, habits etc etc) after that. For me it was a way of getting over him.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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31 Aug 2011, 1:56 pm

emlion wrote:

I think it depends on if they're genuine changes they've always wanted to make or they're just an act to "prove" something to the person they broke up with/got left by.

It's quite possible they were changes he always wanted to make. I suppose I'll be doing some of it myself. He never liked the idea of me piercing my tongue, but as soon as I've got the money I will be. ;-)

PS... I hate your new avatar. :evil:

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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31 Aug 2011, 1:59 pm

Grisha wrote:

I did this myself after my divorce - I tried to change everything I possibly could about myself - I think it helped me to make the necessary adjustments though...

That makes sense, thanks.

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emlion
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31 Aug 2011, 2:00 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

emlion wrote:

I think it depends on if they're genuine changes they've always wanted to make or they're just an act to "prove" something to the person they broke up with/got left by.

PS... I hate your new avatar. :evil:

Yeah, as long as they're not malicious changes, I think it's a good thing.
What's that phrase? A change is as good as a rest. (to recover from something)

:cry:

leave my baby rabbit alone, he's not evil, i swear!

TeaEarlGreyHot
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31 Aug 2011, 2:09 pm

emlion wrote:

leave my baby rabbit alone, he's not evil, i swear!

I don't believe you...

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