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31 Aug 2011, 11:01 am

Do you reckon it's for the best to try to find a partner that also has aspergers? I mean I've noticed that most 'normal' women look for certain character traits that I don't have. Such as outgoing, social, etc.. etc.. I'm not really asocial, but the last time I had a date, the girl was basically saying what she wants is a guy that will be completely incorporated into her immensely busy social life, which is something I do not like at all, because I regularly need some time alone, and get really tired from being in large groups of people.

I know there's also women who look for other things, but that's really hard to find these days, because it seems fashionable to appear as being really busy and social (I notice this pattern on dating site profiles, that all profiles are carbon copies of eachother). So finding another aspie might work well? Or does that cause other issues?

PS that AspieAffection site doesn't seem to work.



MXH
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31 Aug 2011, 11:07 am

it depends on the people.



Grisha
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31 Aug 2011, 11:11 am

I don't have any actual experience to back this up, but all else being equal, I'd take the Aspie over the NT every time. I'm assuming she'd be more tolerant of my AS and I would do the same for her...



The_Face_of_Boo
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31 Aug 2011, 11:17 am

aspie + aspie = 2 aspies. Image



nick007
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31 Aug 2011, 1:01 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
aspie + aspie = 2 aspies. Image

:lol:

Quote:
aspie + aspie = win?

For me & my girlfriend YES absolutely. We are on the same level & a lot of things that would be a problem with NTs work quite well for us like being direct, starlight-forward & honest; she appreciates that in me instead of being offended by it like most NT girls would & I'm happy she tells me things instead of playing that mind-game cr@p


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Tuttle
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31 Aug 2011, 1:55 pm

aspie + aspie has advantages and disadvantages, don't assume that it won't have its own problems. However, it can definitely work well.

AS/AS, AS/BAP, and AS/NT all can work well depending on the people involved.



mesona
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31 Aug 2011, 4:20 pm

for me

aspie*plus aspie=still dumped with no worlds just blocked out


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31 Aug 2011, 8:48 pm

Everyone's different, even here, so I don't think there's a universal answer to that question. I'd like to try it if the opportunity arises. Don't bother with Aspie Affection though, it's a sausagefest.



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31 Aug 2011, 10:39 pm

Maybe :chin:


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sagan
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31 Aug 2011, 10:48 pm

Yes, I feel aspies can be understanding of each other in a way NTs can't. Personally, most NTs get fed up with my weird ways after a while. Aspies might get it.
And weird together just sounds really perfect.


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chrissyrun
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31 Aug 2011, 11:00 pm

sagan wrote:
Yes, I feel aspies can be understanding of each other in a way NTs can't. Personally, most NTs get fed up with my weird ways after a while. Aspies might get it.
And weird together just sounds really perfect.


Indeed. :P


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Tim_Tex
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31 Aug 2011, 11:57 pm

sagan wrote:
Yes, I feel aspies can be understanding of each other in a way NTs can't. Personally, most NTs get fed up with my weird ways after a while. Aspies might get it.
And weird together just sounds really perfect.


You're preaching to the choir!

Count me in.



pree10shun
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01 Sep 2011, 12:15 am

Having aspergers doesn't make two people compatible just like that. It'll depend on the compatibility of the two aspies just like it depends on the compatibility for everyone else.



chrissyrun
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01 Sep 2011, 1:22 am

pree10shun wrote:
Having aspergers doesn't make two people compatible just like that. It'll depend on the compatibility of the two aspies just like it depends on the compatibility for everyone else.


True, but it lends itself to a certain degree of understanding rather than if the two people were strangers, wouldn't you think?


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Wayne
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01 Sep 2011, 9:43 am

I'm suspecting that my wife of 16 years is also on the spectrum. For one thing, I've been reading lots of posts by NT partners of Aspies (in other forums) and they expect lots of things that my wife just doesn't, and they are deeply hurt by things that I also do that my wife pretty much lets go. Her expectations don't fit the profile at all. (There's plenty of other signs, but this is definitely a big sign that something is different about her)

All of that tells me that if I were to try to be in a relationship with an NT, I would be in way over my head. And through luck or just through NTs systematically rejecting me, I've found myself in a relationship where we can learn to anticipate and accept each other more over time instead of either of us getting more and more frustrated and disappointed over time.



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01 Sep 2011, 10:19 am

sagan wrote:
And weird together just sounds really perfect.


:heart:

*sigh...*