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Not all NT women are shallow gold digging b*tches

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hale_bopp
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03 Aug 2011, 5:08 pm

I wanted to post an article about a doco I saw last night. This guy was born with a physical disibility, and he has a lovely GF who loves him for who he is. No he's not "rich" either.

It just goes to show how important attitude is when finding a girlfriend as well as personality, as opposed to "looks and money".

I recon it's really great that this guy has found happiness, and I think some of the guys here ought to look at themselves before calling all women shallow and gold digging.

http://www.pontefractandcastlefordexpre ... _1_2785999

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Roman
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03 Aug 2011, 5:27 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
It just goes to show how important attitude is when finding a girlfriend as well as personality, as opposed to "looks and money".


Yes, but Asperger doesn't affect looks. It affects PERCEIVED attitude. So even if a girl judges by attitude she might still avoid aspies becasue she might decide an aspie has bad attitude when they don't.



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Aug 2011, 5:31 pm

He's actually handsome for someone with a facial disfiguration.

The Elephant man wasn't that lucky.



Fatal-Noogie
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03 Aug 2011, 5:46 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I wanted to post an article about a doco I saw last night. This guy was born with a physical disibility, and he has a lovely GF who loves him for who he is. No he's not "rich" either.

It just goes to show how important attitude is when finding a girlfriend as well as personality, as opposed to "looks and money".

I recon it's really great that this guy has found happiness, and I think some of the guys here ought to look at themselves before calling all women shallow and gold digging.

http://www.pontefractandcastlefordexpre ... _1_2785999

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While I agree with your overall thesis, I don't think this example helps your case. You only introduce one data-point. Besides, having a face like that and having AS are completely different things. AS is a 2-way impediment to interaction. We lack the intuitive ability to read NTs to any practical level of accuracy - a problem this guy presumably doesn't have.


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hale_bopp
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03 Aug 2011, 5:52 pm

This was directed at men in here who are all "women only want HOT men" "women only want RICH men".



blitzkrieg
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03 Aug 2011, 5:55 pm

This is a really nice story.



Grisha
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03 Aug 2011, 5:57 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
This was directed at men in here who are all "women only want HOT men" "women only want RICH men".


While I certainly appreciate the sentiment, when certain men say those things what they really mean is "women don't want me" - the "hot/rich" thing is just a cover, they don't actually believe it themselves in most cases...



OneStepBeyond
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03 Aug 2011, 6:11 pm

Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
This was directed at men in here who are all "women only want HOT men" "women only want RICH men".


While I certainly appreciate the sentiment, when certain men say those things what they really mean is " HOT women don't want me" - the "hot/rich" thing is just a cover, they don't actually believe it themselves in most cases...



KenM
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03 Aug 2011, 6:23 pm

Roman wrote:

Yes, but Asperger doesn't affect looks. It affects PERCEIVED attitude. So even if a girl judges by attitude she might still avoid aspies becasue she might decide an aspie has bad attitude when they don't.


Yes, its perceived attitude. Many of the women i would try and have a relationship with would friend zone me. Later i would ask them why they did not want to get closer. They said its just "something about you". I'd ask them what t was and they just say they did not know. Just a feeling they had. So I had no idea what I was doing wrong or how to fix it. At the time I did not know about my AS. Even know that I know I have AS, I still give of this vibe. No matter how much I work on myself it comes out. I can't fix it if I don't know how or what I am doing to give people that feeling about me.


Forurtenlety, I have meet someone nice and I am really happy with Her. She has AS, too. We understand each other and can relate to each other. We know we won't play games with each other.



Roman
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03 Aug 2011, 6:38 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
This was directed at men in here who are all "women only want HOT men" "women only want RICH men".


While I certainly appreciate the sentiment, when certain men say those things what they really mean is " HOT women don't want me" - the "hot/rich" thing is just a cover, they don't actually believe it themselves in most cases...


In my case I am not even considering "hot" women since I assume it will be "no". I am looking at ALL women and still have very hard time getting a gf.



Roman
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03 Aug 2011, 6:40 pm

KenM wrote:
I'd ask them what t was and they just say they did not know. Just a feeling they had.


You should have asked them if it is "just a feeling" why not TEST their "feelings" by giving you a chance. Why are they so sure that their feelings are correct that they wouldn't even test them?



Mindslave
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03 Aug 2011, 7:07 pm

But some women are deep silver diggers...and some women like other types of jewels.



hyperlexian
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03 Aug 2011, 7:44 pm

Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
This was directed at men in here who are all "women only want HOT men" "women only want RICH men".


While I certainly appreciate the sentiment, when certain men say those things what they really mean is "women don't want me" - the "hot/rich" thing is just a cover, they don't actually believe it themselves in most cases...

there is no way i would know that as i take people's comments and opinions at face value. i am coming to accept that in certain ways, i must be extremely low-functioning as i seem to believe that whatever people say is what they actually mean. i lack the ability to second-guess people's real feelings underneath their vitriolic posts.


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Jonsi
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03 Aug 2011, 8:34 pm

Mindslave wrote:
But some women are deep silver diggers...and some women like other types of jewels.

Same could be said for some men.



Roman
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03 Aug 2011, 8:43 pm

Grisha wrote:
While I certainly appreciate the sentiment, when certain men say those things what they really mean is "women don't want me" - the "hot/rich" thing is just a cover, they don't actually believe it themselves in most cases...


I think what they mean is "women judge based on shallow superficial things". The hot/rich is just one example of shallow/suprficial. In their case they are judged based on something else that is shallow/superficial but it still FEELS the same.

Now some women judge by attitude. But they are not mind readers, they can't just KNOW the attitude. So they judge the attitude based on things such as facial expression or some other details. Now, take an aspie to whom these details are completely meaningless. So to him the judging based on something so meaningless feels the same way as judging based on being rich/hot. For the woman these details are not meaningless; to her they are "signs" that tells her about the attitude of the man she dates. That is why the woman will claim she is not shallow. But for an aspie they have nothing to do with attitude. An aspie might have a perfect attitude but the "clumsinness" will lead to signs that show otherwise. But too bad that the woman doesn't realize this.



Last edited by Roman on 03 Aug 2011, 8:47 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Grisha
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03 Aug 2011, 8:43 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
This was directed at men in here who are all "women only want HOT men" "women only want RICH men".


While I certainly appreciate the sentiment, when certain men say those things what they really mean is " HOT women don't want me" - the "hot/rich" thing is just a cover, they don't actually believe it themselves in most cases...


Perhaps this is true in some cases, but there are those of us who have trouble with all women regardless of conventional attractiveness - perhaps less attractive women are more likely to "settle" for us, but it's still "settling"...