Unusual Sex Drive

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I've never been officially diagnosed, but I seem to fit most closely with a combination of Schizoid and some type of Autism. However there are some details of my condition that I've never heard of anyone else having and one of them is my sex drive. I'm going to describe it as best I can and see if anyone has anything similar.

I was asexual until I was 15, at which time I had a very sudden crush on a girl I barely knew. My feelings were very strange and I didn't know what to do with them, so that is the only girl I've ever been attracted to that I did not approach in some way. I found after that that I was only attracted to certain girls, and it took many months before I got a general attraction towards women in general. My first crush was about 6 months prior to my first sexual desire.

I was going to explain the situations that led me to the conclusions I'm about to make, but I realized that it would become very long if I did that, so I'll just post the conclusions. I've only had two sexual experiences (meaning genital stimulation), so I don't really have enough experience to be sure about this. I'm 19.

It appears as though it is impossible for me to feel sexually attracted to a woman that I am not emotionally attracted to. This means that porn is useless to me, and that I am very reluctant to chase after every pretty girl who gives me a look. It also seems as though it is impossible for me not to feel sexual attraction for a woman that I am emotionally attached to. This means that I have few female friends because women somehow never seem to forgive spurned lovers. That hurts a lot because I lose a friend every time I lose a lover. The time I have known a woman seems to have next to nothing to do with how much I like her. What turns me on in a woman is directness, intelligence, kindness, honesty, healthy weight (this isn't strictly necessary if she has a lot of the other attributes) and at least a little bit of egotism (It is frightfully boring if a woman only sees herself as valuable though her relationships with others. A circle of friends who only care about eachother is like a debt circle without any source of income). I become turned on almost instantaneously if I make a conscious realization that good looking intelligent girl has a temperament that could tolerate me, but not one moment before.

Sex experience number one: I was going about learning NT body language in a very methodical way, and got to the point where I had to do physical things with women to learn more. So at the very first opportunity I got I tried to have sex. She was actually pretty nice looking, but I thought she was ditsy so I wasn't attracted, so it was very difficult for me to get an erection, and I lost it whenever I put on a condom (this might have had something to do with the condoms being too small). It was rather awful and I ejaculated without orgasm while flaccid.

Sex experience number two: I got an autistic girlfriend for just two weeks, but I was hornier during those two weeks than I have ever been in my entire life. She is the only person with whom I was able to have what I thought was a well appreciated spontaneous interaction, and for this she earned my highest level of affection. She is the only person I have ever enjoyed touching; this includes my mother (in a nonsexual way of course). She gave me a handjob once and I had no trouble at all getting an erection and it was the best orgasm of my entire life. She abandoned me without warning or explanation. I learned later through people she complained to that she thought that I was trying to pressure her into sex. I was not trying to do that, but I can understand how she thought that I was. It seems natural to me to express every desire I have whenever I have it, and to get respectfully rejected as often as necessary without any hurt feelings on either side. She evidently did not feel this way. Actually, on the night she gave me the hand job, I asked her if we could snuggle for a couple hours before going to bed. I literally did just mean snuggle; it was shortly after I noticed that I actually enjoyed touching her and I wanted more, but I see now based on her behavior that she probably thought it was a demand for sex. And it seriously didn't even occur to me at the time that she could have interpreted that sexually; I turned my NT communication mode off. *sigh*

I felt terrible after she dumped me and did not feel any sexual feeling or even an erection even during sleep for about a month, and it was about a year (not that long ago now) before I felt comfortable approaching another girl again. After that month without an erection I have noticed that I have been able to shut off my libido by force of will. I once masturbated to the edge of orgasm and then willed the erection away in less than a minute just to see if I could. I have been doing things like looking into bright lights to reduce my sensitivity to them since I was 2, so learning to control this aspect of myself might not have anything directly to do with my sex drive. But then again, even before I met her there would be weeks or so in which I behaved in a nearly asexual manner due to a lack of attractive women.

It seems as though nearly every person I've been honest with is convinced that I am an evil person, but anyway that seems to be a somewhat normal autistic problem. Is what I described above familiar to anyone? I've not read about this sort of thing anywhere and I've been told by autistic people that I am very strange. I would especially like to know if there are any females who find this sort of thing attractive.

Your lack of being able to understand your last gf's body language and the signals you were giving off definitely sounds like autistic relationship issues. Although, your sexuality makes you sound like someone in the gray-A area of the asexual community (look up AVEN if you're interested). Sexuality and autism and not exclusively linked.

Not Quite on my part of the story, and I guess this was proven when I was living in San Diego at the time, I think the 1997 to 1998 timeline, I had my first girlfriend, but in an odd issue, here is part of that story,

Apparently a female student who was also in Special Ed, but apparently had speaking issues and some hearing problems, but also I did take note she also had some form of medium Autism also because she was able to function mostly normal, but talking and sometimes understanding was hard to come by, what I did NOT take note was something out of the book of "Frank Zappa's Song "Dirty Love",

Apparently I guess she had an instant crush with me and I guess this was not noted but a few times I guess during that short relationship I had she wanted me to touch her sensitive areas of her body, apparently she was not afraid to say that to me, I guess that told me right there that some how she had a pretty unusual but active sex drive if she wanted me to touch her like that at school, and it got me thinking she was well yea,

I will not go anymore on the subject because it seems well too perverted, at least that is how I saw it in my own eyes about 13 years ago.

not extremely weird for what i found out; many with AS are at least partially asexual and/or need en emotional connection first.
actually; in the 'adult issues' subforum, someone is doing research on exactly this topic...

So... you're attracted to (at least some) women, to the point of wanting to have sex with them, you get physically aroused around women you like, and your first 2 sexual experiences have gone horribly wrong...

Sounds to me like you have a severe case of "normal teenage boy" syndrome

I like this response

I can relate! For me physical attraction comes after mental and emotional attraction.
Very few people stimulate me mentally and unless someone is able to do so I cannot feel aroused by them. This may sound unusual but hearing someone talk about physics or scientific research is a huge turn on to me...maybe a fetish? Other girls seem to be attracted to who ever they find physically attractive. I'm not sure why it's different for me but frankly I'm glad of it. I'm not the promiscuous sort and have no desire for sex unless mentally stimulated first. That suits me. On the other hand once I find a stimulating companion my sex drive is usually higher than theirs!

LOL you're right! Although I don't think they went wrong in the usual ways