American guy & European girl

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Hey guys,

Has anyone here had some success dating people from another country? I've been thinking about this lately and the more and more I've thought, the more and more I could see myself with a girl from Europe. A couple reasons for this.

First of all, I recently moved to an area with a lot of immigrants from Eastern and Northern Europe. I love to meet people from other countries and especially when they are a beautiful girl. I'm very attracted to the Polish/Swedish/etc. look of blonde hair, round face, etc. so I'm attracted to them already but there is more than that. They seem very intelligent and nice and I feel way more of a connection when I talk to them. I just feel more interested in the girl and like she is interested in me, and smile a lot, I don't know how to describe it, there's just chemistry, I guess. And then I go to school and everyone there just seems so dull and unattractive and glued to Facebook/texting, neither of which I like. So obviously I feel more compatible and similar interests to someone from Europe.

Another thing is my mom and I have been talking and we both really want to move there. I'm kind of attached to her and when she moves there I will want to too. I go to art school next year, and the one I plan on going to has some exchange programs I would like to go on. I think I'd be a little homesick at first but it would be worth it. If I do live there, either temporarily or permanently, would some girls in Sweden, Poland, etc. go for an American guy or would it be considered unattractive or traitor-like? I already know some Swedish, in fact my grandma was from there, and wouldn't move there or anywhere else until I get fluent in the language. Is this good enough?

I don't want to make broad generalizations but I already know I make friends much easier with people from Europe who I've met, and I think I would do better on a romantic level too. Don't be put off by the title, that's just me - if anyone here, guy or girl from any country, has been in a relationship with a person from another country, please share, I want to hear your advice.

Mikhal

My ex-girlfriend is French. We didn't have any relationship issues that had to do with being from different countries or cultures except some small language misunderstandings from time to time. Her English is excellent. I had some personal issues with living in France, however.

I think there are so many variables that make up a person's personality that you should consider that you'll have as much luck connecting with people anywhere (ok, not really anywhere. Some places have extremely different cultures). Foreigners we meet can seem much cooler than our countrywomen for reasons that may not apply to most people from their country. For example, foreigners we meet in our countries on their vacations have money to travel because they may be upper class, which has given them access to better education, resulting in them having broader interests and more varied experiences in life, or they are more laid back because they have led a leisurely life thanks to their money.

There is also selection bias, meaning that the foreigners we meet get along well with us because only people open to and interested in new cultures/people would visit/move to our countries in the first place, so all the closed-minded xenophobes are hidden from us until we arrive in their country. Both types of people are everywhere.

I think the best thing you could do is take a trip to the country to see what people are like.

I don't got any advice, but you're not the only one. I feel the same way about girls from Europe. It's like they're lightyears better than US girls in every possible way ever. Much easier for me to talk to and connect to, too.

As far as dating, I can only tell you one guy I know from Sweden, his mother was Swedish, his dad an American. They divorced when he was little, though, so it obviously wasn't a successful relationship. I believe the dad lived in Sweden while they were married, but after the divorce, my friend remained in Sweden with his mom, and his brother and sister moved to US with his dad. Sweden would be easiest, but I don't know how conductive the culture would be to you, especially if you're a libertarian kinda guy like myself. Sweden, most people speak English pretty well and stuff, so it's not as crazy as a culture shock really. I have zero experience in Swedish girls, though, but some Americans do get wives from there (Tiger Woods did.) I'm part Polish, and grew up among a lot of Polish people, Poland would be a cheaper place to live by far compared to Sweden, though. You can find houses in Poland for like....15K I think? Stuff in general is just cheap there. However, there's the language and cultural barriers. It's also my personal opinion that Polish and Russian girls are like the most attractive European girls, also.

Good luck, though. Definitely feel you there on the European girls thing. I don't quite understand why this is so, but yeah.

Unfortunately, the way Americans seem to view Europe is wrong. Those who travel the world from Europe aren't the narrowminded, and certainly not the poor. However, in all European cities or towns I've visited, the poor, badly-educated and narrowminded were most of the population. They just don't have the political influence that the elite has - for the best, probably, as I've heard various disturbing ideas from these people, ideas beyond Santorum's.

Another interesting thing - have you ever met any African Europeans, Arab Europeans or Caribbean Europeans? In some countries, they form up to 20% of the population, but they're usually concentrated in dilapidated inner-city housing estates. I live near a city in which half the population is foreign, mostly Moroccan or Turkish, usually from poor, religious parts of those countries. They're not likely to visit the United States, though. What is even more interesting about them is a common saying: 'you are more likely to see islamic headscarves in The Hague than you are in Rabat or Casablanca'. Basically, they wouldn't travel to the United States - many of them even hate Europe.
And then, of course, there's the poor and uneducated Europeans who respond to that by voting for right-wing populist parties after being harrassed by young immigrants.

I wish the stereotypes were true. Unfortunately, the Dutch are probably just as uneducated and Facebook-addicted as Americans, but the political system doesn't take that into account.
There are very few people here I'd consider tolerant, well-educated and intelligent. It's a shame, really, as those things are most important to me.

I'll marry you for a green card.

Thank you guys for your responses, I enjoyed reading them. ZX_SpectrumDisorder, yes, you can marry me for a green card.

1000Knives, especially your post was speaking to me. The reason I mentioned Poland is because I just met a girl from there who lives in my apartment building. She is absolutely gorgeous and the conversation went very well, but I'm pretty sure she's too old for me, sadly Really, I'd be more interested in the Czech Republic or Sweden as my grandpa & grandma came from there so I feel a strong connection. I'm learning Swedish and was pretty sure a lot of people there spoke English, so language would actually be a positive. I'm not real political but I do strongly admire Sweden's libertarian system, free health care, etc. so that's another plus.

As for selection bias - that's a really good point, and I thought about it for a while, but I might not have to worry about it. Both at school and work, I have a lot of friends or "friendly acquittance" (or whatever, I've my own definition of "friend") from Mexico. From my understanding, the Mexicans that immigrate to the US were not in the upper class at home, at all, in fact that is why they had to move here. Yet I still have such an easy time making friends with them. The same thing might be true for the people I've met here from Europe, that they grew up poor and had to move here, but it might not. I'm definitely traveling to Europe soon and will see about that.

HisDivineMajesty, sorry you run into such ignorance, it must be frustrating. But a couple of things. First, I don't have the ethno-linguistic connection with the Netherlands as I have to Sweden or Czech Republic, so I probably wouldn't move there. But either way, would an immigrant or temporary resident from America, who is white, be as unpopular in Europe as someone who is not white, secular, etc? To answer your question, all of the Africans, Arabs, and Caribbean people I've met were not from Europe. But again, I've had an easier time connecting with them than I did with Americans. The best teacher I ever had was from Kenya, I had him my sophomore year and at that time, I didn't talk to many people, but he became my best friend, kind of. I love to meet people from Africa - some would assume lack of a decent education and such would lead to bad attitudes, but everyone I've met from there is incredibly friendly and laid back. I probably should keep remembering the possibility of selection bias, but it's just like woah.

England would also be a great place for me. My favorite rock bands, favorite cars, tons of AS research, probably the best place for my future career, English-speaking, pretty landscapes, Thomas the Tank Engine - why didn't I mention that before?

I think you should follow your heart. Living abroad is the most fantastic experience the world has to offer, the personal growth you will experience is priceless. Intercultural romance is a big part of that.

i live in the uk but two of my exes have been from german speaking countries. I do think that for me i am attracted more to non british looking girls (obviously that is fairly vauge)


i think the point that the people who you will meet will tend to be better educated and cosmopolitan is important if you then want to move somewhere. perhaps that is a large part of my attraction. i see it as quite an impressive thing for a potential partner to be brave enough to move abroad

I found that when i was in switzerland with my ex that the language barrier (despite them having good english) made it harder than it already was (being an aspie) to communicate


I'm not sure i could move anywhere non english speaking unless i was sure i could learn the language. also i would miss people here

i would agree that europe on the whole is not that much less 'stupid' but that is not necisarilly important. in any city there will almost definitely be people you can relate too. most governments and people are liberal enough that you would not suffer as a result of being a foreigner or just general bad governance.

i think the context that you meet people is important. for example, you say that people at school are boring etc. chances are a lot of them are not but school (or work place) is not the best place to meet people as there are hierarchies and implications (ie not being able to avoid exes or friends who broke up) which make it less likely that people will open themselves up. I don't think that is so relevant in your case but just keep it in mind