Sheerboredom wrote:
As much as it bothers to say this, I can't seem to be able talk to girls without them starting the conversation. You see this has kept me from being able to pursue a interest in a relationship.
So here is the situation, there is three girls whom I have an developed feelings for and I don't know how to start a conversation with them without it being awkward. So I am hoping that someone here can give me some at least basic advice on how to talk to girls.
There is a good book that you should read that I think would help you out a lot. It is written by a guy named David Wygant, and it is called "Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life".
It explains how to start conversations with women you are attracted to in any social situation.
I'll tell you the basics though-
(This is not from the book, but my own knowledge) In most societies, men are supposed to approach women and talk to them, if they are interested in them. It is a cultural norm in most cultured societies, and basically goes back to our caveman ancestors of gender roles (man hunts animals for food, provides shelter, protects family. Women prepare food, take care of children, gather berries, etc).
Times have changed, but men playing the "active role" of going out and getting what they want has stayed the same. You cannot be passive and expect to be able to socialize with women, you have to actively talk to them and pursue them, no matter how scary that might be.
This book covers two ways to initiate conversations with women- the direct approach and indirect approach.
The direct approach is where you go up to a woman and compliment her on her appearance, which signifies potential romantic interest in her. Women love to be complimented, so it will come across as genuine.
For example: You're at a grocery store in the bread aisle, and you see an attractive girl. You find one thing to compliment her about appearance wise, and you go up to her and talk to her. It is best to "ground" your opener (or ice breaker), by stating what you were doing before you went up to talk to her.
"Hi, I was standing over here, looking in the bread aisle for a loaf of bread, and I saw you over here, and I couldn't help but notice how great you look in that outfit. My name is Tim, by the way, what is yours?"
and you get her name, and start having a conversation from there.
The indirect approach is where you find something interesting about what a woman is doing, and start a conversation on it.
For example: You are in a bookstore, and you see a girl you are attracted to reading a copy of Hunger Games. You go up to her and say:
"Hi, I was standing over here, looking at books, and I couldn't help but notice that you're reading the Hunger Games. I just had to ask, what do you think of the book series and the movie they just recently made. Oh, I forget to introduce myself- My name is James, what is your name?
Like I said, good book, you should look into it., and if you have any question, pm me on here. Good luck!
15 Mar 2013, 3:40 pm
