At what point in a relationship should an Aspie "come o

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I've been seeing someone casually for a while. I think that I'm sending him mixed signals. And quite frankly, he doesn't seem like an NT and is sending me mixed signals as well. In fact, I think he's more Aspie than me in a lot of respects, but I am not sure he realizes it.

Anyway, we have a lot in common, and I want to avoid screwing this one up. But when I try to send out signals (like touching his arm) he pulls back (which is one of the many reasons I think he is an Aspie). I actually have a touching aversion, too, but I like him enough that I tried. Also, any time something happens, like him telling me I am beautiful, he goes into hiding for days. I want to tell him that I have problems with relating to people but I don't want to push him away.

Any advice is appreciated

I think it's better to talk about feeling weird and different than to talk about autism and asperger's. Do the two of you share feelings of weird and different?

BTW, mixed signals are common in NT relationships as well. People experience mixed feelings, and they often don't know what they want.

Especially NT women don't have a clue about themselves. One NT b***h chatted with me for weeks on msn, phoned me 3-4 times a day (or, actually, night) and wanted to have phone sex with gross verbal humiliation (I should degrade her verbally and tell her that I wanted to do really gross things with her). But when I wanted to meet her irl, she always came up with excuses...

I strongly suspect that he does. Once in a while he will just come out with a statement that totally floors me because I usually regard him as rather confident. However, I regard him this way when we interact in the workplace, and I am sure he thinks the same of me as a professional person. But, once we go on a lunch date or hang out at his house he is really different. I thought that he was just immature until I saw his house. It was soooooo Aspie. Maybe that's where the attraction came from.

Anyway, most NT's stop talking to me in about 30 seconds unless they are sadistic and want to emotionally torture me. So the fact that we've been in this wierd slow-moving relationship for almost a year now at least suggests he is comfortable around someone like me.

I dont usually advertise my AS to everyone, but if it does come up at all or someone questions something in my behaviour then I just casually mention that I have Aspergers syndrome. I would try and find some way of casually slipping it into conversation at some point, if you confront someone directly, especially someone with AS, they are usually going to get defensive and be non receptive to ideas.

I don't know what else to go by. But I have been out with a girl from work. It's been only the once, and I don't know if there'll be another time.

But my employment advisor reckons that around the third date with this or any girl - I MUST tell her about my AS. For what that's worth.