Starting Dating At A Later Age

Post Reply New Topic

Most people from ages 13-17 have dated, lost their virginity, and/or been in a relationship. Starting to date at age 20-24 seems like a later age.

Though there are plenty of people who started dating later who are perfectly content with their love life. And you may feel like you have missed 5-10 years of dating experience by not experiencing it in high school, but that may not be the case.

I talked to someone about this, and especially, how I am 20, who has not dated yet, and they told me something that was very resonating.

Why would you feel like you are no better at age 20, than someone who has dating experience at 15 is?

You are more wise now than you were 5 years ago, correct? Definitely more so than the other people who are 15 now. More mature? Yes. So you will not have to fall into many of the mistakes that you would have had to if you had started dating at 15.

Your thoughts?

Starting in my early 20s didn't help me. I still hit every branch on the way up and every branch on the way down. The learning curve is still sitting there waiting for you.

As soon as you are sufficiently motivated, you should begin.

The longer you wait the harder it is because once you're older, women will expect you've already been through the learning curve.

Why would you start at an early age anyway if you don't find anybody to date with you like or feel comfortable with?
If you did, it probably would end badly anyway and I don't see a point in experiencing something bad you could have avoided.

I also haven't dated but it's because everybody who's asked me, I didn't really like, at least not like that. So I'd rather not date at the age you're supposed to do it, than have a collection of not so memorable moments. But I honestly don't know if that's a reasonable approach either. I don't feel pushing yourself could bring any good results.
There are people who never dated until they found their counterpart and there are those who did date a lot, it's probably also a question of luck.

No, they haven't. People lie, you know. Many have, for sure, but it's easy to look at them and discount all the others.



Only when people assume what you said above.

^ ^ ^

Much agreed with the above point about people lying. The last statistically rigorous survey I saw on the subject was a couple years ago and indicated a slim majority of the current generation of teens will graduate high school without losing their virginity. The pressure to lose your virginity in your teens has been declining slowly since the first shocks of the sexual revolution ended.

As for starting late . . . I didn't go on a real scheduled date until I was 21 (same year I lost my virginity). Now, I had a huge advantage -- I was in a co-ed floor in a college dorm. You'd be surprised how easily a relationship can evolve from helping a freshman girl with a couple difficult English 100 papers.

The funny thing is, she never said anything about expecting me to be whatever. One thing you realize pretty quickly is that sex in general, for all people, is sloppy and relationships are clumsy and poorly executed. The only difference between how a typical person sees it and an autistic person sees it is that an autistic person is more likely to wonder what went wrong, while a typical person will fall back on old standards like "b*****s is crazy" and "all men are dogs".

Don't sweat it kid. That's the only good advice anyone can give you.

That and say hi to everyone. I fly solo internationally on vacation and I promise you, just saying hello has immense power. Start conversations with everyone. Everywhere. Do it indiscriminately. And in many languages. People will think you're cool as hell.

I mean that last bit. If you ever take any advice from anyone ever, take that advice right there.

Find a clutch of people who are talking and say hello. Go over, say, "Wow, it's a slow night around here!" And let it take you where it may.