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lightening020
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17 Sep 2011, 1:56 am

I met her at a party, and it seemed like we have alot in common. kinda

I got her number but I wasn't sure what she was about. Anyways I texted her few times, and she replies a few times, but she makes no attempt to keep the textversation going.

I am well aware of phrases or lines that are a nice way of saying "not interested", but this girl doesn't say any of that. She replies like she might be interested in chatting, and then all of the sudden there isn't another response.

Anyways f**k it...Im just going to delete her number and try to forget about her. Why try to decipher. I probably have absolutely no clue what is going on.



lightening020
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17 Sep 2011, 2:13 am

....just deleted her number......

unless anyone has some advice on her to pull this girl or get a date with her Im all ears, but other than that It really doesn't feel like I am/going to get anywhere if I try to talk to her some more......



Chronos
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17 Sep 2011, 2:39 am

lightening020 wrote:
I met her at a party, and it seemed like we have alot in common. kinda

I got her number but I wasn't sure what she was about. Anyways I texted her few times, and she replies a few times, but she makes no attempt to keep the textversation going.

I am well aware of phrases or lines that are a nice way of saying "not interested", but this girl doesn't say any of that. She replies like she might be interested in chatting, and then all of the sudden there isn't another response.

Anyways f**k it...Im just going to delete her number and try to forget about her. Why try to decipher. I probably have absolutely no clue what is going on.


How about "Hey, do you want to get together for coffee this weekend?"

There's no reason to assume a negative just because you can't tell if her responses are negative or positive. The only thing you can assume is that you can't tell if she's interested or not. She could be and she might not know what to say. Maybe she's on the spectrum too. Maybe she's busy when you text her, or not giving you her undivided attention. A lot of people are doing multiple things while they text.

Propose to meet up with her in person. If she says she's busy, say "Well when you aren't busy, give me a call and we'll get together."

And leave it at that.



hale_bopp
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17 Sep 2011, 2:56 am

It's possible deleting her number might make her more interested. People don't like being rejected, its common for them, especially girls to try and want to "win" a person back.

Dunno for sure though, it differs from person to person.



lightening020
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17 Sep 2011, 3:21 am

hale_bopp wrote:
It's possible deleting her number might make her more interested. People don't like being rejected, its common for them, especially girls to try and want to "win" a person back.

Dunno for sure though, it differs from person to person.


I texted her first about 2 weeks ago, it fizzled quickly. Didnt text again till today. she seems like she might be game, but there isn't an ounce of reciprocity in her.......I have to do all of the work but i don't know what I am really doing.

I have a feeling I won't ever hear from her again if i just forget about her.....

Maybe i am just not trying hard enough.............maybe better than trying to hard, but I get the feeling like I am not trying hard enough..........bleh



TB
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17 Sep 2011, 9:11 am

My personal opinion is that any relationship has to come from both sides, wether it is friendship/business/romance. Of course you have to be assertive and work at it. But there is a certain point where the effort you put in to keep a relationship going is not worth it. Personally i expect the girl to reciprocate. Only when i really like someone is when i don't mind putting in a lot of effort, but even then i there is a limit where i will realize that this person is not going to reciprocate my actions and i just lose interest, usually they will not change their behavior to win me back. More reason for me to put my energy into other people.

I do not like girls that are passive, if they act passive/uninterested i lose interest. I like someone who can show assertiveness once in a while, can make up their mind and does not care what everyone thinks.
If she acts like this now, will it be any different once you actually get anywhere with her ?. Either she is not interested YET or she always acts uninterested. I would not want to be around her if its the second case.



Mindslave
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17 Sep 2011, 9:34 am

Perhaps the problem is that you two are texting. Texting is a very informal way of communicating, and it's not a god way to get to know somebody. Nothing says you care quite like "Hi how R U 2day?"



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Sep 2011, 9:47 am

"Hi ♀, thx 4 z last nite, I reely like ur ( . ) ( . ), fone me, lookin 4ward for more ( . )U( . ) & ( )↑( ) & 69. ur hunky dude christ."


Just move on...



gothicfeline
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17 Sep 2011, 9:57 am

Some people just aren't texters. It'd be rather terrible for me if I had to prove my interest in a person via texting. I just don't like to communicate that way. Maybe, just maybe, she doesn't either.



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Sep 2011, 10:01 am

^ a valid point, did you communicate with her via something else? like phone?



lightening020
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17 Sep 2011, 12:54 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ a valid point, did you communicate with her via something else? like phone?


I met her at a party 3 weeks ago, but I am just not sure how to get things started



Zinnel
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17 Sep 2011, 4:06 pm

if the words "we should get togather again" were ever texted or anything like that

that was the perfect time to suggest getting togather again

most women i know drop subtile hints, then less subtile hints, then finaly throw it in ur face like the example above

if she has never brought that up then, u offer to meet up once if she says "no" in any form give up on her, unless after she said "no" she tries to suggest a different date then she is interested

sometimes u hav to throw urself out there if the other person doesnt

so maybe u just need to ask her to get togather again with u

btw ive always found deleting someone number as a very childish thing to do, i still hav every number ive ever goten from anyone, with exception of one girl becuz she went off the "grid"

women do like to chase or get back people(usualy people who they should just stay away from for their own safety) but thats not a good way to build a relationship



lightening020
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18 Sep 2011, 1:56 am

I was trying to see if I could get two replies from here today, and then I would have asked her 'meet up some time blah"

-didnt happen. She responded to my first text, and then ignored the second. I believe in working up to something, the same reason you don't ask a girl out that you haven't talked to yet.

Anyways thats it. Im not going to keep texting her, because im probably not ever going to see her again.



izzeme
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18 Sep 2011, 5:19 am

well, i have a simular situation at the moment.
she is interested; i know becouse last week, when she was nearby, she was willing to come over even though she was very tired before the thing she went to first (her words); unfortunately, we couldn't find a time that worked for both of us...

i also have some trouble getting responses sometimes, but clearly texting something along the lines of: "i dont hear a lot from you, are you still interested in texting?" should give you a straight answer; a yes is a yes, and everything else is a no



LostUndergrad9090
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18 Sep 2011, 6:27 am

I thought if girls are interested they want nothing but to text the person?