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minervx
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19 Sep 2011, 1:52 pm

Several men close to me have told me their experiences, of how their relationships went sour because they were not the same person the woman fell in love with.

For example, a guy used to know this woman for years, and the eventually got into a relationship. During the relationship, he went from overweight to normal weight, got a new wardrobe, and a better job, but his personality changed too much. He went from upbeat to negative, relaxed to overanalytical, became insecure and paranoid. And that destroyed the relationship.

Or another guy who felt like he was inadequate as he perceived his partner to be better than him, even though she does not see that as a problem, and then difficulties occuring.

Any experiences from members here?



TeaEarlGreyHot
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19 Sep 2011, 4:39 pm

Yes, but in my case it was me that changed. I lost myself for many reasons. Now that we are divorcing, I'm finding myself again. There are things about me that I'm returning to (my sense of humor, for example) and things I'm finding have really changed on a fundamental level (like my religious beliefs)

I think, though, I'm overall the same person I was when I first met him 10 years ago. My focus has changed a bit, and I'm now a Momma but those are superficial changes.


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hyperlexian
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19 Sep 2011, 5:16 pm

my former husband and i both changed drastically in the last 2 or so years of our marriage. we dealt with a major crisis in incompatible ways and it set us on divergent paths with completely different goals. our personalities changed somewhat but it was mostly our inner selves, even our core values. compromises became insustainable because our tolerances were already stretched to the limit. our child was the one area we agreed on.


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shrox
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19 Sep 2011, 5:19 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
...we dealt with a major crisis in incompatible ways and it set us on divergent paths with completely different goals...


That's pretty much what happened to me and my former wife.



Joker
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19 Sep 2011, 5:53 pm

Me an my former girlfriend split up because we never agreed on anything.

I was to radical in my political beliefs an because I support militarism as well as a outspoken anti-Capitalist.

She was very conservative when I am neither Liberal or Conservative I am against both Ideas.

We never could agree on diffrent philosophy views I am a strong supporter of Irish and German philosophy she was well too English lets just put it that way.

We would always fight an aruge on why the other is wrong the only thing we did that never involved constent aruging was never to speak about politics philosophy or religious views.

I am prosestant she is catholic so you could see why we where always fighting.

So we both ended our relationship.



ValentineWiggin
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20 Sep 2011, 1:28 pm

Joker wrote:
Irish and German philosophy


:scratch:


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Joker
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20 Sep 2011, 2:52 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
Joker wrote:
Irish and German philosophy


:scratch:


I support them both strongly because im German Irish :lol: