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HighLlama
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27 May 2016, 9:07 pm

Hello, I'm looking for some advice in a situation. I belong to a walking group and like a woman in the same group. We don't always attend the same walks, but have done a few together over the past months and enjoy talking together. We are both fairly quiet, slow to articulate, but thoughtful. I can tell we also share the same interest in seeing historical places, but have issues traveling far. We are similar in the way we are, which is rare for me and nice to find.

She also knows I like Shakespeare and always makes sure to tell me about local performances and that she thought of me when she sees there is a performance. We enjoy discussing architecture and biographies that we like. Tonight when we walked we discussed our trouble focussing when reading, and how she enjoys hearing someone read a book while I still prefer to read. So she joked that we'd make a good team, since I could read and she could listen. She also asked for a hug when the walk was over, which people don't do in the group. So, I don't know if she likes me at all or is just friendly, especially since there is quite an age difference. I do get the impression that she has difficulty telling another person's age like I do.

I would like to spend more time with her, but always have trouble reading signals from people. I also don't want to misread her behavior and then make her uncomfortable by asking to spend time together outside of the walking group. Like me, she seems to enjoy limited social activity, so I don't want her to feel alienated or like she has to avoid the group to avoid me, especially since I can tell she is someone who is a good friend and I enjoy our walks.

Am I right in seeing an interest in her behavior, or am I just imagining what I want to see? Since she has mentioned some Shakespeare performances next month, would it be appropriate to ask her to attend?



JeanES
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27 May 2016, 9:55 pm

You should ask her to attend.

Unless the last conversational topic was sad, I'd lay odds that hug was a signal.

If you drive, ask her if you should pick her up for the play. Use the word should.
Also ask if she'd like to get... tapas and drinks, or whatever... before or after.
If you get a yes to both, that fits the parameters of a date.
And then if you really want to be sure, it's appropriate to ask if it's a date.

Imo, it's better to ascertain ahead of time if it's a date... cuz while the question may be awkward, assuming either way and being wrong is way worse :oops:



Bridgette77
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27 May 2016, 10:38 pm

If she is seemingly concentrating her attention sowlely on you, and asking for a hug each time before you part from each other, then yes, that to me, is a good indecation of her having feelings for you, but I'm looking at it from an NT's aspect. This is how I was and am with my guy at least. We also have a big age difference between us. I think the previous comment :) had great advice. I hope this helps a bit.



HighLlama
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28 May 2016, 5:32 am

Thank you both, this was very helpful. The last topic was not sad. She asked for a hug and said, "See you at the next walk."



Chichikov
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28 May 2016, 6:49 am

What is the age difference? Or your individual ages anyway.



HighLlama
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28 May 2016, 7:55 am

Chichikov wrote:
What is the age difference? Or your individual ages anyway.


I'm 33. I'm not sure of her specific age, but she seems to be a little older than my parents, so I'd guess approximately 30 years.



Chichikov
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28 May 2016, 11:01 am

If you're 30 and she is 60 I doubt there is anything going on, she'll just be being friendly, maybe she sees you in the same light as her children.



HighLlama
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31 May 2016, 5:52 pm

Well, we are making plans to go see the play. So thanks for all of the advice :)