Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Chummy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2010
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,295
Location: Micronesia

20 Sep 2011, 3:15 am

I obviously don't need this because I am not single, but I am very curious as to what people here think, as I just rememberd a glimpse of an old conversation I had with someone. We were discussing about love and she told me she advocates a method that guys should approach random girls (say at a club) and hit on them. And then I asked her, okay, but what about love? what about if say I am not interested in that girl... why would I want to hit on someone I don't know? it's pretty much like rolling the dice and you don't know what you'll get. so she said something like oh well love comes afterwards. And then I said I don't agree, that you should know the girl first to know if you like her and if you consider her a match.

I would never go to a club just for the sake of purposefully hitting on random girls. Do you guys prefer to do just that, or do you prefer my method of being friends first with that person, and then hitting on him/her? :P

P.S- What do you think of my new avatar? :lol:



Troy_Guther
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 20 Mar 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 282
Location: Deep in the Desert

20 Sep 2011, 3:31 am

I generally hit on everyone around me a little bit in one way or another. Mostly for comedic effect though, I'm not exactly a stud, so people get a kick out of it. :D



PTSmorrow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 719

20 Sep 2011, 3:34 am

Unless it's just about a sexual only affair i need to get to know the woman first. Her mindset, thoughts, some of her experiences and her style are highly important.

Quote:
so she said something like oh well love comes afterwards.


What your friend mentioned is not love IMO. It might be a certain attraction or infatuation but not love.



maquaii
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: Norway

20 Sep 2011, 3:46 am

PTSmorrow wrote:
Unless it's just about a sexual only affair i need to get to know the woman first. Her mindset, thoughts, some of her experiences and her style are highly important.

Quote:
so she said something like oh well love comes afterwards.


What your friend mentioned is not love IMO. It might be a certain attraction or infatuation but not love.


Isn't it so that generally attraction infatuation comes first, then love, then tight knit companionship?



PTSmorrow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 719

20 Sep 2011, 3:59 am

Quote:
Isn't it so that generally attraction infatuation comes first, then love, then tight knit companionship?


Not sure about the sequence because it's proven that people can be friends for a long period and suddenly fall in love at any point. Perhaps it runs differently for different people?

Probably, it depends on the circumstances. Since the question referred to meeting someone in a club i'd say yes, you're right.



maquaii
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: Norway

20 Sep 2011, 4:25 am

PTSmorrow wrote:
Quote:
Isn't it so that generally attraction infatuation comes first, then love, then tight knit companionship?


Not sure about the sequence because it's proven that people can be friends for a long period and suddenly fall in love at any point. Perhaps it runs differently for different people?

Probably, it depends on the circumstances. Since the question referred to meeting someone in a club i'd say yes, you're right.


Not saying you have to have attraction, it was just that she said "love comes afterwards", and you said that sounds more like attraction. While i figured if attraction is involved then it comes first and as she said love comes afterwards.



Keeno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2006
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,948
Location: Earth

20 Sep 2011, 4:54 am

Chummy wrote:
We were discussing about love and she told me she advocates a method that guys should approach random girls (say at a club) and hit on them.


This could be PUA (pick up artist).



Seventh
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Sep 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 178

20 Sep 2011, 5:03 am

Most women can sense when they're just a "random" pick, especially at a bar or club. Women want to feel special, not someone who just happened to be at that place at that time. (If the woman is drunk enough though, it's a different story.)

I'm a woman, by the way.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,774
Location: None

20 Sep 2011, 5:23 am

Maybe some people just like random sex.

Personally, I don't make a move until at least lust is present.



ShamelessGit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jul 2010
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 787
Location: Kansas

20 Sep 2011, 10:48 am

I personally am revolted by the idea of hitting on someone before I know her in a friendly sort of way first.



simon_says
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,200

20 Sep 2011, 11:19 am

Yeah, to actually hit on someone I'd need to speak with her first. I can be proactive with meeting and talking, but not making passes. I need to think about that one.



Chummy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2010
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,295
Location: Micronesia

20 Sep 2011, 2:37 pm

Seventh wrote:
Most women can sense when they're just a "random" pick, especially at a bar or club. Women want to feel special, not someone who just happened to be at that place at that time. (If the woman is drunk enough though, it's a different story.)

I'm a woman, by the way.


Great post, bbbut, alot of men can just hide their romantic intentionsas if they were just passing by and saw that girl so he can make her feel like he accidently saw her and fell in love with her in the process. Plus some girls like to be a "victim" of random hit on since it makes them cool it just depends which girl and which guy I think I generally think nice guys won't just hit on a random girl unless they're desperate, crazy or just bored or idunno.



Joker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)

20 Sep 2011, 3:05 pm

The idea of hitting on random girls goes against my own peronal rules that I do not break