Feeling inadequate and like having nothing to offer

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Ok, this is not going to be some kind of whiney-depressed thread. Well, sort of, but not in the conventional sense.

I have the disadvantage of being somewhat of a perfectionist. Not that I do everything to perfection, but I feel empty inside if I have the feeling I did not give 110% at everything I do, and I am always mentally occupied with trying to achieve everything at a given task, at least at things I hold dear and that are important to me. I attribute much to this to how my mother raised me, because she rarely gave me any feeling of accomplishment. Good grades at school and being successful in general were self-explanatory, and I is rare that I feel accomplishment even when I achieve something other people would be proud of. What I wanted to check if it is an AS-thing or if it is just me that when I think about how it would be to find a partner, what I would have to offer. Certainly not looks or charm, that's for sure, but even when it comes to all my other personality quirks, I cannot imagine anyone in this world to find anything that would make them prefere me over anyone else. Don't get me wrong: Overall and for my own standards, I think I am a pretty awesome guy. But, like I said, for my own standards, which I guess are pretty low in this regard. I am satisfied with little things, and satisfied with the fact that I somehow manage to maneuvre through life without sticking out too much, just being myself without drawing too much attention to myself.

So, do others feel that their obsessed minds prevent them from feeling truly... acceptable when it comes to other people's standards? Don't know how else to describe it, just wanted to check if is just me or common with AS.

Yeah that all sounds familiar.

I can relate, my psychologist attributed it to OCD. It is very hard for me to function in a house, school or job that doesn't have flow and progression. Between AS and OCD it kind of doubles up b/c most Aspies like repetition and it's hard to find

I have always felt like there was still one more mountain that I needed to climb before I was good enough that anyone would want to be with me. In high school, it was fairly petty things like having a car and being able to drive. Later it was losing weight and getting a decent job. Then it was living on my own and getting a better job. Then it was buying a house and having some real accomplishments that not everyone can achieve.

These are all things I have managed and yet it is still hard for me to feel like anyone would want my company. Eventually I came to recognize that all these feelings of inadequacy were purely internal and never had anything to do with all the people I thought were looking down on me. That knowledge hasn't really changed how I feel. I still am reluctant to approach people because I think they will want to get away from me, but I suppose I worry about it less.

I worry that my obsessive interests are a turn off to others and yet I am friends with people who have obsessive interests. And those people are able to maintain relationships. Clearly obsessive interests are not necessarily a barrier to intimacy. Of course I haven't been very good at conforming to societal norms, so maybe that's a part of it...

Anyway, I recognize what you are saying, if that's any help.

On the subject on never feeling you have enough to be better than others: People have told me I'm funny. Sometimes even the funniest person they've ever met. A lot of the time you hear that a sense of humor is the most important thing to women, but it really can't be. For one thing I have never heard a stand-up comedian talk about how easy it is to get women. I think the problem is that the "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk from free" thing (that's referring to sex so we're all on the same page) doesn't really work with humor. You can't really say, "I'll tell you what I think of Lady Gaga's outfits, but you have to buy me dinner first." or "Two men walk into a bar, and I'll tell you what happens to them after we're married." No. Women can get their humor where ever they want, whenever they want. No one things less of her if she buys comedy DVDs or watches videos on the internet. Or even goes to a club and for a small cover charge get totally LOL'd all night by several people. And it could be from anyone, old, young, men, women, maybe even two at the same time or a group or someone wearing a costume or using props. No one thinks anything of her gettin' a few laughs on the side. How exactly do I compete with that?