Girls looking for love

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I have tried and tried to date, but its like I can't focus hard enough. Everytime I try to conect with another person I drive them away because I don't know how to do it. Sometimes I really hate being an aspie because of this. I don't know what to do with myself. Help?

I have no advice, I just wanted to sympathize. I know exactly what you mean and it sucks.

It does suck..It sucks hard.

It's not entirely clear what your difficulty is, but it sounds to me like you find dating very stressful.

You might be better off not bothering with such formal meetings if you really just can't connect with people through them. Getting to know the person better and whether they would be a good match for you is the entire point of dating, so if dating isn't helping you do this with people, then you needn't feel under pressure to do it.

It would help if you provided more detail on exactly what you find so difficult about dating if you'd like people to help you improve your experience of it.

Its worse for aspie boys, and it sucks... however you should try developing a theory of mind(even though i tried and failed >:[)

Have you tried getting to know someone over the web first before meeting them in person? That might get you past the most awkward part.

I second that. I've had some success meeting girls online, and while none of them have been "the one". I did make some nice online friends.

Also, it helps me to approach girls I like as potential friends and nothing more, and wait to see if it develops beyond that. Going at it from the angle of "hanging out" removes some of the pressure of "dating", even if it's essentially serving the same purpose. I also find that helps me to maintain a realistic perspective and not fall head over heels for someone I barely know. The best relationship I've ever had grew from a casual friendship.

Definitely pros and cons to that approach, as I've learned from personal experience.

On one hand, it works pretty much exactly as advertised in terms of reducing the awkwardness and misunderstandings, on the other hand it can create a false impression of you that can turn disasterous when you finally meet (don't ask me how I know this. )

But so far 2/3 meetings have gone pretty well so maybe it's still worth trying...

Other than that, I sympathize with the OP: I've endured the "joys" of being an Aspie who tries to date for MANY years - so I should know better than anyone...

When are you coming to...



England, Grisha?

You can't be a teetotaller in England - well, you can, but it isn't easy.

Oooooo, I miss England. All that alcohol... :drool:

Holycrap, beer! *gazes longingly*

Where d'you live now?

New Zealand. I guess there is plenty of alcohol here too.

Probably early next year.

Actually I'm only a teetotaller on California soil - every where else is fair game...

OK... Please tell me why the rest of the world is different than California when it comes to drinking. This is like a trivia question that I can't look up. I know! The local judge told you that if you're brought in again for dancing naked in the fountain at city hall that he'll throw the book at you. Right?

You won't see England at its best before May or June.