Bars and the nothing-to-lose tactic

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I'm a 30-something Aspie man married with a daughter, house and career, but back in the 90s and early 2000s (I was diagnosed in 2001), and I always knew that I was "odd", but I guess some deep desire within me never let that hold me back. I figured that the more females that I "hit on" at a club, the better my odds would be of something emerging...either short term or long, at least it would be experience. Trouble is, I needed a buddy as a "Rosetta Stone" at the clubs, so for example on one occasion I was chatting up a beautiful brunette, I went on about various topics related to the local clubs and the music, and I thought things would go somewhere - played it cool by backing off. She seemed to be into it, and me (emphasise: seem...) But then my friend told me "don't waste your time, she's not interested." I was like "how do you know??" he said "you can't tell??" no...I can't...

That was in 1999, 2 years before my diagnosis. It became easier to read the subtle cues with therapy and trial/error, but even in the early 2000s I still occasionally needed a "Rosetta Stone" to assess my flirting performance. Unfortunately this occasionally landed me some harassment from "fake Rosetta Stones", people who I thought were buddies but would tell me that a girl was really into me and I should go further, but it turns out she wasn't. They were just trying to make a clown out of me by pushing my buttons to make me appear desperate.

Still, I am glad that I used the nothing-to-lose tactic back in the 90s as it provided me with a useful surrogate for lack of dating experience, gave me some insights into women, gave me some interaction and intimacy, and landed me with a great woman today. Of course, I was always using the tactic in a reasonable way, not like some fool who walks up to women and asks "so, do you want to f***?" And the alcohol certainly helped.

I'm wondering if any of my fellow Aspie males tried the same tactic in their youth (or beyond) where they just talked to several females to build up some social experience and propel them to more success with women.

Where I'm from, we call that learning the hard way

I think most guys get moderate success with women by doing this very tactic. It does work - to an extent. I would like to start doing this and try out different social strategies. I have many personas that I assume whenever I need to. I am a social chameleon in that aspect, where if I feel I am having trouble, I adopt one of my social identities to tide me over. It works for me really, and I am comfortable doing it, I just have to bring it to the dating arena.

I don't like wing men. They just get in the way and if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Though Ive made a good wing man in the past. I take it very seriously and do good work.

As for chatting women up. Yes, absolutely. I'd talk to women I had no interest in regularly just to build up my ability to socialize. I think that was very important. But I wouldn't make random passes, just chat fearlessly when I felt like.

I did something similar. I didn't go to bars or clubs, but otherwise if I was attracted to a woman, I'd just go talk to her. I sucked at it at first, but slowly started getting more and more positive responses. And one positive, just one girl wanting to spend time with me, would completely wipe out the negative feelings left over from the 9 or 10 uninterested girls that came before.

I haven't really gone out to bars or the like in ages, not since I started college. I just no longer have the time.

That said, I did talk to a lot of people when I was in secondary school, with varying levels of success. No idea whether it'll stand to me in time, though...