women like the way I look but not the way I am

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Hi, women like the way I look but not the way I am because they can fool the desparate b***h in me.

Every women that I see looks at me and smiles at me but I never had a girlfriend of my life and I'm 28. I always betray myself by saying something which shows that I'm insecure.

What don't one give me a chance and see my potential instead of seing only the bad sides of me.

And my only bad side is not to be confident. But girls, let me ask you this question: WTF does confidence ever brought a man, expect girls? Nothing.

Confidence doen't mean that you are intelligent, nor sexy, nor good in bed.

I am too honnest, I am not able to play any game I'm too nice and too kind, I have everything that make a relationship last, but nothing to get it started.

Why can't you see the potential in men instead of just seing the surface of the personality?

I never had a love life, nor a proper sexual life. I pretend not to care but I care a lot, I am so used to be desapointed and miserable, I'm angry and helpless.

What does a man gain from confidence besides girls? He gains new abilities and goes new places and gets that much closer to realizing his true potential. Confidence is something you can practice towards. It comes mainly from challenging yourself and trying new things. A way to build confidence is to try something new (something completely unrelated to meeting girls) that takes you outside your comfort zone. A physical challenge. A new experience challenge. Do something you've never done before. Try and let yourself fail. People who get comfortable with failing at challenges (or some aspect of challenges) and don't let it freeze them will build skills incrementally and also confidence. You do it. You fail. You survive. You do it again but this time you will be a little better at it.

Confidence genes that would increase the mating chances of their male offsrping when they grow up.

I have to agree with boo on this one. It's a strong drawing factor on the primal level for many women. Just like men liking a women with curvy hips.

We don't really have a choice. We get dealt our hand, and it's our job to play it to the best of our advantage.

In the case of a non curvy woman: Get other aspects that appeal to a mate
In the case of you: Learn confidence. The more you do, the more you try, the more interesting you become. The more interesting you become, the more people will enjoy talking to ans socialising with you. The more success you have socially, the more confidence you gain.

Success in ALL OTHER areas of life. Girls know this. They know that an insecure man is likely to stumble through life with his head down never acheiving his full potential because his anxieties keep him from taking risks. They also know that they will most likely end up having to mother you and nurse you through your insecurities, and this gets old. Fast.

What does a man gain from confidence besides girls? He gains new abilities and goes new places and gets that much closer to realizing his true potential. Confidence is something you can practice towards. It comes mainly from challenging yourself and trying new things. A way to build confidence is to try something new (something completely unrelated to meeting girls) that takes you outside your comfort zone. A physical challenge. A new experience challenge. Do something you've never done before. Try and let yourself fail. People who get comfortable with failing at challenges (or some aspect of challenges) and don't let it freeze them will build skills incrementally and also confidence. You do it. You fail. You survive. You do it again but this time you will be a little better at it.[/quote]


THIS.

You've put that very well. There really isn't anything attractive about having a boyfriend that acts like a child or a pet.

Wow, you really worship confidence.

I am confidence personified, like Jesus as God personified, bow before me, women, for I am the root of confidence.

Disagree.

I have been quite successful in ALL OTHER areas of life (read: career/earning potential) and it hasn't done anything for my confidence with women, I'm not the only one, including possibly the OP.

You can't judge a book by it's cover, you're probably missing some hidden gems (and finding some invisible turds) because of your inability to look beyond conventional wisdom.

Also your contention that you need to "mother" and "nurse" is nonsense in many cases, once I get through the initial awkwardness and hit my stride I'm just fine. Unfortunately, attitudes like what you describe usually keep me (and others like me) from getting that far.

You should give this some thought...

I assumed they meant confidence in general. Do you have any confidence in any areas of your life? You must have some in the business arena.

Our primate ancestors probably preferred to mate with more aggressive males, which is the case of most nowadays primates.

Confidence is nothing but a subtle well-evolved form of productive aggressiveness.

Confidence doesn't mean strength, it's just an appearance of strength.

It's perfectly normal to feel insecure, the key is in how you cope with them. You'd probably benefit with learning coping skills in relationships or reading books on Cognitive behavioral therapy before you engage in any kind of relationship.


It's a good trait to have honesty and loyalty, you need to find a partner who appreciates you being direct and upfront. You need to respect yourself first and start defining your own sense of worth and understanding. It's very easy to fall into an unhealthy relationship and be used or exploited with your current mindset.


You need to stop thinking and talking in a self-defeatist way that puts you in a negative undesirable light. Women can easily sense desperation, bitterness and passive aggressiveness and they will instantly associate you with negative feelings every time they see you regardless of how you look. It's not so much about the confidence in itself, it's about having a positive outlook and creating a positive feeling in people in general.

When you talk to a woman, try not to talk about yourself, try to direct the conversation away from yourself, women love talking about themselves and hearing about themselves.

MMM this is worth thinking, I'm always kind of scared that I don't speak enough to girls and they think I'm to quiet and not enough fun. Probably I should try to listen more.

I think we're misunderstanding each other. I am certainly not saying that success in other areas of life guaruntees success with women. I am saying that if the OP is projecting his insecurity so overtly that it has stopped him from ever getting a girlfriend, he's probably sending out a lot of negative impressions about his ability to function in general.

As far as nursing and mothering are concerned, you are talking about "awkwardness" while the OP is talking about a glaring projection of insecurity. I happen to like a bit of awkwardness, and I think that if people don't have at least some insecurity, they're probably egotists.

As far as you, specifically: maybe you're very different in person, but I find your personality very attractive and it's hard for me to understand how you related my comments to you.

Actually I am just as insure as anybody, I just refuse to play a game imposed by society called seduction in which you have to hide you are: make up for girls and confidence for guys.