marriage

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Well...Having been married in my 20's and having 3 children... a broken marriage and several dismal relationships to follow... i met a man through a friend with a quite amazing mind...i am not one to believe in love at first... but this was different... the moment i saw him...no words to explain it..... he lived an hour away with his family... his story of broken relationships and in and out of work... he had told me of his ADD and i told him that i had aspergers or as my eldest daughter calls me asparagus girl : )
We seemed to click and have an instant understanding...probably by the second week he really never left.... he eventually found work... and a wonderful love affair had taken place... i found the one....in the background alot of dramas were taking place... with my children, my father was dying and whole miriad of other things.... by 5 months into the relationship we were married.... none of this since the wedding day has been easy..... he changed... his temper, his attitudes, his understanding, he became manipulating... all the while i stayed the same.... I have no doubt he has aspie traits... and some very large control issues.... we function differently... our vocab is different... he uses huge words that i have no concept of... he strings sentences together i have no idea of what they mean... i feel like his intellegence is used against me.... we are 2 years down the track from where we first started... he lives with his family once again, i am with my children in our own place again....we speak often over the phone and may see eachother every 2 weeks..... he says i need to change my ways, be more organised, be less emotional, and cry less... but i am who i am... the very things he fell in love with and the quirkiness he now can not live with... and for me this amazing brain of his i fell in love with, disturbes me sometimes with how it thinks..... life can be a funny thing.... and i am learning more and more.... Thing is.... not everything works out how we plan it will... crazy thing is.... to me my marriage was about being with this best friend, sharing my life with him.... i can still do that.... only a little differently...and i am ok with that.....
I really don't like change of any kind and struggle with it... i am a creature of habit.... and so is he.... but in different ways to me...the ways that clash... i guess my point in telling this little story is... that marriages and relationships can work....but sometimes very differently.... i have no idea what the future holds... we don't wear our wedding rings and we are right back to the point we were at when we met physically.....but i know i make a better friend than i do wife.... he is happier... i am happier sometimes... the only things i miss are the cuddles and the knowing i have someone by my side.
The end...

This is very common in relationships: before marriage everything is perfect and after marriage people change. What they used to love about you is not acceptable anymore. I know you like this man, but I see no point in you continue trying to maintain a relationship with him. You want a partner, someone you can share your life with, and he obviously is not that person. Sometimes things just do not work. I think you need to move on.