my situation

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I hate the process of getting a girlfriend. I am a freshman in College, I met this girl a little over a month ago. Naturely, socializing isn't my best skill and I am unsure what is appropriate and what isnt. I am in constant feer that I will do something inappropriate and ruin my chances. We have talked over the past few months. I have pretty much started all of the conversations. One of them was about 45 minuets long. Is it too early to ask her out? It is hard for me to find her when she is alone or almost alone. I am very hesitant to knock on her door. I always wait until she keeps it open to come in. I feel like I might go by her door too much to see if it is open, I m afraid that she or her friends will notice and that that will creep her out. Will it be ok to knock on her door and ask "can I come in "? I really really want to tell her how I feel, but I am affraid it will be too early. I am an honest person; I dont know how much longer I can keep on pretending that I want to be just friends. I do not know if she has a boyfriend. In the end, I want a long lasting loving serious relationship.

In this case sooner would be better. The longer you skulk around her the greater possibility you will appear creepy.

I cannot reccomend asking her if you can come into her room. Inviting a guy into her room who she does not know well would be risky behavior on her part.

Ask her out to a specific activty; a meal, a hot chocolat, a botanical garden; whatever, but don't expect her to suggest the kind of date.

She may accept or reject.

The best you can do is play it day by day. As the above poster noted, don't muck around too long.

Don't go in all heavy and emotional. Be friendly and keep it light, no matter the outcome.

I hate to say it, but unless there's an obvious reason (to her) that you couldn't make a move sooner, you're dangerously close to being too late to make a move.

Time, sir, is of the essence.

My kind of R & R, although must admit that my penchant for romance and recreation has gotten me in trouble a few times in my life, particially when developing an attraction to a coworker on the job. This happened to me twice about twelve years apart, each time with disastrous results. I blame at least some of it on the crackdown on sexual harassment which, IMO, has gone far beyond the lengths it needed to. These days it seems as if expressing any type of attraction in any way, even if it is a sincere compliment, is grounds for suspicion. I believe the law was meant to protect the corporations more than the people it was supposed to serve. But in neither case was I guilty of anything even close to true harassment, but yet both times it seemed to be interpreted that way and could do nothing to fight it.

I had two guy friends I hung out with for a whole semester. Then another guy who was a friend of theirs started talking to me and actually asked me out. After we had become serious both of the guys mentioned they had feelings for me and I never knew. I did consider them friends but one I became all too familiar he seemed like a brother. So don't hang around in fear. Find out what your chances are because you may have friend zoned yourself.