I am perfect otherwise

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Concerning what women like, I think I'm almost perfect in every important aspect, except the fact that I'm an aspie.

My looks (just the face) - I've been often told that I'm good-looking. I've never been the hottest guy in my grade, but women almost universally like my looks. I even look a few years older than I am.
My intelligence - it's more than enough to let me say that it's at the level that most women like. Which means that nearly all women should like it, except if they don't think I'm "too intelligent". I base the statement which defines my intelligence on a way more than enough evidence.
My body is athletic, not too muscular for all the girls I've asked, but still obviously muscular, I'm close to the "perfect body". My bodyfat is low, I have a 6-pack. I've been made fun of very seldom, except if it's not in a physically threatening way.
I'm 180cm (5'11'') tall, the fact that I'm not taller is probably my biggest flaw.
I'm hypersexual, I think about women all the time, so I devote a lot of time on this. Also, I see most woman as attractive, I have nearly no "requirements".
I have a very high self-esteem, though I never demonstrate it. I often act unconfidently in social situations I find confusing.
Despite my Asperger, I am a really kind person. In fact, my level of kindness is way above the average. I'd never do anything bad to anyone if I'm not certain that they deserve it, at least I used to be like that, I changed my views. But I still behave very kindly most of the time.
I consider myself as highly creative, thoigh I base it solely on anecdotal evidence.
I can even play the guitar, though I'm not toooo good.
A huge flaw I have is my ADHD. But I don't think it does many social things.
I don't have some kinds of obvious flaws like if I have just one leg. Just some minor ones I didn't mention, but I have minor positive sides I didn't mention.
I hope I don't miss anything significant. The only reason for my bad success with women is my ASD. And it's not even severe.

My first girlfriend was when I was 18. She was so ugly that nearly all men without BBW fetish wouldn't be with her, but she was very horny and we met on the Internet - after we met in real life, she was already my girlfriend. We could see each other once in a few months, and our relationship didn't last enough for a second meeting. Everything was the same with my second (and last, so far) girlfriend, except for the fact that she was kind of pretty and she had a nearly perfect body. They both loved the sex, but didn't want a long-distance relationship.

Or shortly, it's just my ASD what totally ruins my success with women. Maybe I should learn to identify aspie women, because they most likely won't see this as a flaw.

Are you sure it's not narcissism that's the problem?

Nice to see someone with high self esteem, but be careful that you don't tip the balance over into arrogance... I mean, nobody is really perfect AS or no As.

You probably don't do this in real life, but just in case, don't brag about all your positives like that to a woman you are interested in or it will come off making you look bad. A little humility is a good thing.

Now, I notice you've said nothing about how you can fill another person's emotional needs. Maybe if you give some though to that you might build a mutually respecting relationship with a woman.

Sheesh, I think you guys all forget its not all about the pretty face and the sex for women. Relationships are developed through mutual love, trust and respect, not just a good roll in the hay.

If it helps...I had one boyfriend that lasted 10 months, and the one before that lasted 3 months. I had a few very short-term ones before that, which I wouldn't class as relationships.

Have a lot of self-love and wear nice clothes, and you'll attract, but not necessarily keep.

I know another single aspie woman besides me who's looking. The problem with *some* aspie women is, that they can be a bit obsessive with men. Both my aspie female friends even followed their crushes home once (bad idea) and talk non-stop about their crushes. Hmm, would you still like to be introduced to my friend??! !!

Was this girl ugly to you, or ugly to others? I mean, why would you date someone you thought was ugly?

Yeah, all I said is based on solid evidence. Anyway, it's mostly things that I can't get wrong (like height). I criticise all my hypotheses, I knoe a lot about cognitive bias, it's onw of my special interests.

And yes, I realize that bragging like that is a very bad idea. But I thought it'll be acceptable here. Also, I rarely show my self-esteem, some people think I have a low self-esteem.

About the last part, maybe I suck at that. I consider it in the "ASD stuff" category.

Edit: @smudge: she was acceptable on pocs, but just a little ugly in real life. Btw we had a good time.

I actually like the idea of a girl tracking me. It makes me feel her mutual, because I have the desire to track girls too, but I realize it's a bad idea. At lease it's a bad idea for NTs, it could be a nice way to flirt with people with AS lol.

(btw I'm writing from phone)

Last edited by Rational on 10 Oct 2011, 5:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well I kind of have to challenge you on the word "perfect", but I kind of know how you feel.

I do everything I am "supposed" to do, and I look really good on paper, but I still struggle monumentally.

Aspergers is a serious disability, especially in this regard, even if you are high functioning in other areas you are at a severe disadvantage to even average NTs romantically.

I've learned over the years to really be grateful for whatever you can actually accomplish - a date with an attractive woman can be really awesome for its own sake, even if you don't get a second. At this point, just a kiss with someone who kisses back is almost as good as sex for me - I'll feel great for days afterward: a lot of Aspie guys can't even manage that much through no real fault of their own.

It's probably not the answer you were hoping to hear, but I am speaking from experience...

(I edited my previous post)
I do agree that I used inaccurately usage of the word "perfect", I have OCD so I'd even help strangle me.

I am getting better at communicaring with NTs, so I hope I'll have a better success in future.

You know, I am pretty awesome myself, except for the parts that are less than awesome.

Yes,we certainly are at a disadvantage when it comes to romantic pursuits.If we leave this area of our lives to ''chance '' or fate ,it will never happen.It takes a lot of hard work to be able to distinguish what will work for us and what will not.

You ain't kidding. I would really like to see a well-designed comparison study between an age/race/income/etc matched cohorts of Aspies and NT's in terms of relationship status. My gut feel is that it is less than 50% for Aspie guys.

Oh well, at least I'm not completely alone :

I've known, and still know of aspie girls who are in relationships where they're taken advantage of. So, I wouldn't call it a bed of roses.

So you're getting all your feedback from ugly chicks, huh?

No, MrEGuy. That's a straw man fallacy. Seeing most women as attractive has nothing to do with the source of his advice.

Being a Aspie makes you awesome its a good thing

Look at the advantages it gives you.

I don't think that makes any sense. Why should I not ask hot chicks about their opinion, too?

I certainly agree that being an aspie has advantages, I've never said I don't want to be aspie.