"If you have to ask, you will never know" -Louie A

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...I was reading an article on Yahoo about meeting people in the holiday season (pointless yes I know), and this dating coach was talking about meeting people shopping for gifts, blah blah things to say.

And I thought about it. Why is dating and chatting up strangers being broken down into meaningless yahoo articles? Is that stuff really helpful? Are we really that clueless as people?

I thought about it, and Im thinking that if I have to listen to that advice, then I am not ready yet.

"how do I get a gf/bf"," How to talk to the opposite sex" its not happening. You are so so far removed that it might as well be impossible.

Does anybody get what I mean? Isn't there a high state of existence once you have passed that barrier you will be free and won't worry about stupid s**t anymore?

Isn't the way to get a relationship by NOT looking for a relationship, pursuing your life passion?

I dont think you can volunteer or go anywhere (the mall, school) really to try to meet girls. Its probably the same with meeting people as well.

I dont think you have to know your career or anything like that. There are HS students who date but don't know their life passions. What do they have? They must have an identity of some kind.

I don't know im just spitting this out there and not even that well, but can anybody grasp what I am trying to say?

If you've got plenty of time on your hands, why not try joining a dance class? Latin dancing is a lot of fun and is non-threatening. You shouldn't need to bring a partner, you are generally just paired up. If co-ordination is a problem, just join a beginners group. It's better than loitering around a mall.

Volunteering? Tried the RSPCA or whatever the animal rescue is called there? I've never done it, but it just came to mind.

Uh, huh, I know exactly what you're saying.

Yep; it's being self content. (It correlates closely with self confidence.) It's; being happy even though I don't have a mate. And it's, in part:
Or at least pursuing your life.
This is mainly true. But, after I graduated college and was in my 1st career job; I found myself very lonely; achingly so. After having been in college wherein almost everyone was a peer and where socializing and meeting & getting to know lots of guys was seamless; working in a new town with mostly older married co-workers left me friendless, locally. It took years to gain a social life.

Almost every man I've dated (or married for that matter), I met through friends or activities. I had a chance to get to know them before dating. So at least partially, I think that one needs to have activities (could be; gym, work, church, classes, etc) and/or friends to encounter the opposite sex in a context where there's a chance to get to know them in order to date.

Encountering strangers in order to get dates, seems such a long shot, as to be a total waste of time; no matter what the dating gurus say. (I waitressed my way through college and was hit on weekly or better and always wondered; What woman in her right mind would go out with a total stranger?!?)

Yahoo articles are written for one reason and one reason only: Content.

They are written buy...

1. People who majored in English because they couldn't do much else.
2. Interns.
3. The most clinically neurotypical people in the world.
4. Some person in India who has no journalism experience and is only fluent in the Indian dialect of English.
5. The journalists who got turned down for the New York Times job.

In other words, they probably offer little in the way of actual advice.

or just.. people in general?

some people are actually quite wise, and arent 'successful'. dismissing articles on yahoo on the grounds of 'they might not be established writers' is silly.

to the OP, what if your lifes passion is love? then what XD. i desire love in my life more than anything else, by far. for me, there is nothing close to the feeling i get when i cuddle with someone whom i deeply care about, and love. i dont have it right now, but i'd give anything to have that again.

and if that means searchin up teh all knowing GOOGLE and readin' up on some silly articles to pull bits of sensible advice, thats damn straight what im going to do. makes more sense to me than not persuing anything, or trying to build your skills thru information.

what if your lack of 'looking' makes someone not notice you, so you dont have a chance with them? what if this someone would be a really good match for you?

im just a hopeless romantic. XD

I worked as a web journalist, so I can tell you the reason why these articles appear all over the place: they are extremely popular. You can write a deep, insightful article about a scientific discovery, exotic animals or history, and you will attract only a few readers (ok, you might attract a lot if your site is popular). But when you write articles about sex, dating or celebrity gossip: your site gets more hits. These things are extremely popular.

Just take 10 minutes to write some silly stuff about what not to say on a first date, which sex position women find the most arousing or who's Madonna's new boy toy, and voila - your site gets lots of hits.

Yes, it's THAT simple.

Furthermore, these relationship/sex articles don't require any formal knowledge of subject, and they don't require much, if any, research.

i'd definitely agree with this. I'm often insecure outside of relationships but i think i'm moving towards feeling content which i think is the best way to be when you want to start a relationship. only problem is i want sex and for me there is a blurry line between sex and relationship. I don't find sex outside of a relationship to be that good really, i guess it feels good at the time but it also feels meaningless

It's irrelevant whether or not they are established. Yahoo generally has horrible quality control issues with their articles because they focus on content quantity.

I go with the Tom Waits perspective on meeting people special, or even meeting people and having any sort of relationship happen in general:

"Miracles only seem to happen in situations where it doesn't matter whether or not the miracle happens."