Always been unloved, always will be. Is suicide the only ans

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Ok, so I'm a really really fugly girl (guess my body's sort of hot, but it doesn't matter because my face disgusts everyone too much to care). Lesbians reject me, guys reject me, everyone has rejected me my entire life, romantically and as a fellow human being in some guys' cases.

But I crave being touched and kissed and hugged like everyone else. I just never get it from anyone. It hurts to listen to my friends whinge about how this guy's not good enough and blah blah blah and even lesbians are like that in some cases, or the lesbians that hang out with my friends, but only because they have the hots for my friends, obviously they don't have the hots for me so they won't even talk to me, it's the same with guys. Basically, my looks kill any chance I'll ever have with anyone, including homeless people. I get ignored and my toes stepped on in bars, clubs, everywhere while my hot girl friends get everything handed to them by males and dykes alike, including better grades in school for no reason but being good-looking.

And it's not about how I dress(feminine and good) or makeup, which I wear. My doctor said I needed orthognatic surgery I'll probably never be able to afford - 3 surgeries! One more expensive than the other :S - I don't even have a job! And that's just the beginning, I mean I can already see a nose job will be needed no matter if they put my jaws where they're supposed to be. Basically, I'm a monster, but not the one feature is out of whack type, the everything is not where it should be type - I have an enourmous, wide, overly long nose that dominates over my tiny eyes, narrow cheeks and nonexistent lips. There's no subjectivity here, if EVERYONE in your entire life experience rejects you, you stop with the "everyone is beautiful", stupidly optimistic mindset very fast, trust me.

Basically, how could I live an even moderately nonmiserable life when everyone I will ever meet will reject me because of my ugliness and yet on the inside I'm a girl with emotional needs like any other? I'm literally all alone with noone I don't have to pay who'll listen to me so I thought maybe people here could tell me something comforting that's not a ret*d oh-love-will-find-you kind of dreck I stopped believing years ago. Even the mere thought of someone treating me like a girl and loving me in that way seems laughable to me, even if I want it and make an effort and wear makeup and dress up and whatnot, it's all for nothing.

I thought maybe this forum was the right place because people here understand what rejection's like, but all it is is guys complaining about hot chicks and how they can't get laid so maybe it's the wrong place. To clarify, I'm not looking for self-pitying answers from guys that are pining after hot chicks like horny dogs about how they have it so much worse, but actual replies about MY situation, thank you:D I foresee a gun barrel in my mouth as soon as I get enough money to buy one (no worries about anyone on earth bothering to stop me), but in between I'd like advice on feeling better about being loveless.

a lot of men have said to me in the past that men go for hot bodies more over nice faces. i observe it to be kinda true

Being different sucks no matter what you look like. I will say this, think of things that are positive in your life. Don't have the mentality that everything sucks because you're not satisfied with your looks.. that's no even slightly true. sounds cliche but concentrate on other things and if love finds you, it finds you. Look at the actresses on tv, theyre perfect and their husbands still cheat.

there are other things to live for besides romance. i didn't date for years. (i was significantly overweight.) what i did do is volunteer work. there were folks that appreciated me because i read the newspaper they were too blind to see to them or because i could teach them the english they needed to know to feel at home in the US.

i also had a pet, in my case, a cat. i asked the shelter for the most affectionate cat they had. smoke has not disappointed me. smoke sitting in my lap purring after the obligatory head butt is as good as a hug.

you don't have to be gorgeous to do good things. if you do good things, you will have folks who respect and like you, perhaps, eventually even someone who will love you

just becouse one is unatrative does not mean your doom to sinlge hood . i've seen many who are attcativee/untrative. short/ tall/ big/skinny dating. why kill your self over the lack of love. there are many things look forward in life. and many forms of love can be aeive in a nondating snice.

i think this treied belongs in the heven sction

All I can really say that isn't something like "someday, love will find you!" (heh, Journey! ) is that you are not alone. I have struggled with women ignoring me or just plain treating me like crap. Had quite a few women call me ugly. Men and women alike have taken my friendship for granted quite a few times.

It's ironic when people who treasure other people's souls above all else are ostracized and shunned just for the way they look on the outside. I can say, though, that not everybody is shallow enough to only care about looks.

One thing that I've started doing is just writing down good things about myself when I feel my self-esteem sinking. Just from looking at your previous posts you seem to be intelligent. Another thing you can try is....well, I don't know your history, but I'd remember and write down what these people did or said to me and it'd make me feel better that I didn't become their friend or their boyfriend. It might not work at first, but the more it happens, and the more stuff you remember/write down, the more glad you'll feel over time that you didn't waste your time with these guys. Being overlooked by people like that is a blessing in disguise, though it may not seem like it right now. Seriously, if you're meeting anyone who doesn't treat you like a human, then good riddance to 'em. They weren't worth the time anyhow.

To answer your title, I don't think suicide is the only answer, or the answer at all. What if you committed suicide but there could have been signs later that everything was gonna change for the better?

I'm racking my brain for more advice right now.... do you have any hobbies where there might be clubs or meetings for them? You can likely meet some guys there. Even if they just end up being friends with you, guys always know other guys.

I don't know you very much.

But I always loved your character (at least what's projected of your character in your posts).

Romantic relationships are NEVER a life-and-death matter, have you considered getting treated for depression?

I don't know, I think there are a lot of girls who think they're fugly and really aren't. My girlfriend has low self esteem amongst her sisters, but she is infact the prettiest (to me). How acquainted are you with the guys your friends are talking to? Is it just maybe the fact that the guys/lesbs ignore you because they don't really know you? Or are you talking about guys/lesbs that you're acquainted with and your friends don't know.

Also sometimes giving a weird social vibe even affects women to major levels, people can get the inclination that you don't like them or that you don't feel like talking to them. Have you asked anyone out? What was their reaction? Did they dignify with a response, did they say that they were seeing someone, were they cruel about it?

There were girls in my sophomore and junior years in highschool that I just didn't approach or talk to because of those very prejudices. The fact that I was a nervous stammering dork had nothing to do with it.

Ok it probably did.

I have that all the time too-I am a guy who is TOFU-too old fat and ugly and a person I know tells me I am nice doesnt understand when he says you cant judge a book by its cover-but you never buy a book without looking at the title so you by default have to judge a book by its cover by looking at the title