Would this grind you up inside endlessly?
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21 Oct 2011, 1:42 am
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her and she said she would take me up on it one day because she had always wanted to. And then a few days later I started realizing that I really liked her a lot more than I though and that led to me instantly doubting and thinking too much and I saw she had 5 other guy friends at her house(it really wasn't like that though) and I started saying wreckless stuff on Twitter about how I was gonna get drunk in the middle of the day and stuff. And then one of my friends invited me over there and she knew what it was all about already pretty much.
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
21 Oct 2011, 2:00 am
That's not really a good way to approach a girl you want to hook up with. Girls will put you in the friend zone within like a week of knowing you. That's why you need to learn how to flirt, it's really not that hard. Just start talking to a girl at a party or at your school or something, and get her to hang out with you one-on-one. Just off the bat. Don't even think about it. Like "Hey I'm going to grab some food, do you wanna come?" or "Hey you should come hang out at my place"
Personally, I wouldn't worry about your friend. If she can't, she can't. And trying to force her into it will just make you seem desperate, which will make you seem even less desirable to her. Just find a new lady to put the moves on.
And breaking the touch barrier with girls works. Read this, it might help you.
http://www.wikihow.com/Touch-a-Girl
21 Oct 2011, 2:28 am
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her and she said she would take me up on it one day because she had always wanted to. And then a few days later I started realizing that I really liked her a lot more than I though and that led to me instantly doubting and thinking too much and I saw she had 5 other guy friends at her house(it really wasn't like that though) and I started saying wreckless stuff on Twitter about how I was gonna get drunk in the middle of the day and stuff. And then one of my friends invited me over there and she knew what it was all about already pretty much.
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
After the bolded bit it just gets worse and worse.. Don't try it on with someone who doesn't like you like that.. it won't be great.
21 Oct 2011, 2:36 am
MetalAspie wrote:
That's not really a good way to approach a girl you want to hook up with. Girls will put you in the friend zone within like a week of knowing you. That's why you need to learn how to flirt, it's really not that hard. Just start talking to a girl at a party or at your school or something, and get her to hang out with you one-on-one. Just off the bat. Don't even think about it. Like "Hey I'm going to grab some food, do you wanna come?" or "Hey you should come hang out at my place"
Personally, I wouldn't worry about your friend. If she can't, she can't. And trying to force her into it will just make you seem desperate, which will make you seem even less desirable to her. Just find a new lady to put the moves on.
And breaking the touch barrier with girls works. Read this, it might help you.
http://www.wikihow.com/Touch-a-Girl
Well, she had been my friend since March, but I starting liking her in June and I just couldn't hold it in and finally told her in July. But yeah when I first met her, she was touchy-feely and stuff, and then that receded quickly and now I see her like that with any other guy except and it makes me sooooooo jealous. I think she can tell touching is still a huge deal for me and I want it too much. Even hugging a girl as a greeting or goodbye is odd to me, it feels like it's more intimate than it should be but my friends insist it's the equivalent of a handshake for girls.Personally, I wouldn't worry about your friend. If she can't, she can't. And trying to force her into it will just make you seem desperate, which will make you seem even less desirable to her. Just find a new lady to put the moves on.
And breaking the touch barrier with girls works. Read this, it might help you.
http://www.wikihow.com/Touch-a-Girl
Yeah, I think I killed it. She at least says hi to me now, but it's a shame the friendship really got so screwed up like that. But as it is I know it'll just hurt me to stay around her, especially when she's so friendly with literally almost every other guy except me, making me feel inadequate again, it's been that way even before all this, I think I just come off as desperate to her.
And yeah, I totally suck at the touch barrier thing, I don't know what I'm doing so I don't do anything, I think that's screwed me up a LOT with progressing things, but I'll check out the page tomorrow when I'm more awake.
hale_bopp wrote:
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her and she said she would take me up on it one day because she had always wanted to. And then a few days later I started realizing that I really liked her a lot more than I though and that led to me instantly doubting and thinking too much and I saw she had 5 other guy friends at her house(it really wasn't like that though) and I started saying wreckless stuff on Twitter about how I was gonna get drunk in the middle of the day and stuff. And then one of my friends invited me over there and she knew what it was all about already pretty much.
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
After the bolded bit it just gets worse and worse.. Don't try it on with someone who doesn't like you like that.. it won't be great.
Chronos wrote:
There's other girls to have sex with in the world.
Yeah, but I don't really know how to approach so I have to wait for one to approach me and hopefully one day I'll finally play my cards right to get something out of it that wasn't for pity
21 Oct 2011, 2:59 am
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her
I dont know about where you're from, but saying things like this is generally frowned upon. It was over at that very moment.
21 Oct 2011, 10:41 am
Troy_Guther wrote:
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her
I dont know about where you're from, but saying things like this is generally frowned upon. It was over at that very moment.
I often actually thought she might have Asperger's herself with some of the things she does(not related to that though)
21 Oct 2011, 8:04 pm
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her and she said she would take me up on it one day because she had always wanted to. And then a few days later I started realizing that I really liked her a lot more than I though and that led to me instantly doubting and thinking too much and I saw she had 5 other guy friends at her house(it really wasn't like that though) and I started saying wreckless stuff on Twitter about how I was gonna get drunk in the middle of the day and stuff. And then one of my friends invited me over there and she knew what it was all about already pretty much.
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Make sure its the right person when you do choose to open up. Thats the one thing I hate about aspergers is the relationship issues. When You choose to open your heart it will be to the wrong person and you'll get your heart ripped out. Then It's like your love seeking side is replaced with hatred and mistrust. So choose real carefully.
21 Oct 2011, 11:51 pm
To be honest if a woman I had known for not very long told me she was a virgin, with intent to have sex with me, I would not believe it. It's one reason I don't seek one-night stands.
I do think touch is a fairly big deal to me. Mainly, I enjoy it from a woman almost as much as most guys enjoy SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. So that makes me kind of afraid to "break the touch barrier" unless we're both very drunk. It feels almost like I'm just jumping her bones without asking!! !
_________________
Your Aspie score: 98 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 103 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ: 33
23 Oct 2011, 10:18 am
Comp_Geek_573 wrote:
I do think touch is a fairly big deal to me. Mainly, I enjoy it from a woman almost as much as most guys enjoy SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. So that makes me kind of afraid to "break the touch barrier" unless we're both very drunk. It feels almost like I'm just jumping her bones without asking!! !
Yeah, that's sort of the way I feel. It's probably because girls never touched me that much, although that sounds terribly strange probably, lol
23 Oct 2011, 10:37 am
hale_bopp wrote:
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her and she said she would take me up on it one day because she had always wanted to. And then a few days later I started realizing that I really liked her a lot more than I though and that led to me instantly doubting and thinking too much and I saw she had 5 other guy friends at her house(it really wasn't like that though) and I started saying wreckless stuff on Twitter about how I was gonna get drunk in the middle of the day and stuff. And then one of my friends invited me over there and she knew what it was all about already pretty much.
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
After the bolded bit it just gets worse and worse.. Don't try it on with someone who doesn't like you like that.. it won't be great.
Excellent point!
23 Oct 2011, 10:57 am
spirtualpatterns wrote:
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her and she said she would take me up on it one day because she had always wanted to. And then a few days later I started realizing that I really liked her a lot more than I though and that led to me instantly doubting and thinking too much and I saw she had 5 other guy friends at her house(it really wasn't like that though) and I started saying wreckless stuff on Twitter about how I was gonna get drunk in the middle of the day and stuff. And then one of my friends invited me over there and she knew what it was all about already pretty much.
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Make sure its the right person when you do choose to open up. Thats the one thing I hate about aspergers is the relationship issues. When You choose to open your heart it will be to the wrong person and you'll get your heart ripped out. Then It's like your love seeking side is replaced with hatred and mistrust. So choose real carefully.
I think this reply is spot on. Is it worth the risk of getting your heart ripped (and the resultant trauma) to lose your virginity? I think not.
Based upon your posts, you appear to be emotionally attached to this lady. I believe you mentioned the word "jealous." Unless you can separate the emotional aspects of having sex from the physical aspects, then you would be setting yourself up for a train wreck willingly.
I never could separate the emotional aspects of making love from the physical aspects. And for that matter, I am glad I can't and would never want to change this aspect of me.
In addition to the potential emotional trauma of being intimate with someone who isn't emotionally attached to you, there are other serious other risks to consider: STDs. I am not trying to say that your lady friend is promiscuous (and we know you are not), because I don't know her IRL or an accurate accounting of her sexual history.
All I can say is this - some people are promiscuous and don't practice safe sex - which is utterly incredulous with all the public information about how STDs are spread. End of day, I would follow the wise advise of the respondent poster who I quoted: Choose very
carefully with an eye toward protecting your heart, mental health and physical well being!
24 Oct 2011, 2:07 am
j5689 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
There's other girls to have sex with in the world.
Yeah, but I don't really know how to approach so I have to wait for one to approach me and hopefully one day I'll finally play my cards right to get something out of it that wasn't for pityThis is a problem. Most girls don't approach guys. They might hint they would like to be approached but they won't do the actual asking out. That is your responsibility. You may blame your ancestors and their concepts of modesty for this. Girls have other responsibilities in relationships (I'm not talking about sex, that's not a responsibility) which are equally, if not more difficult for someone on the spectrum.
So how do you ask a girl out? Ideally this would be a girl you've had some interactions with already. You could simply go up to her and say something like "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to go see a movie with me." Or "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to get some coffee or something."
Or you can slowly cultivate the relationship....personally I think this takes more skill than just getting to the point and asking her out, and it can be easier to end up in the friend zone if you don't make the right moves at the right time, provided she has some romantic interest in you.
25 Oct 2011, 12:46 am
Ended up taking her and some of my friends to her apartment tonight and it was just terrible. She said hi but after that she wouldn't look at me or talk to me at all. And the apartment just brought back bad memories of the awkward moments that I was there before. Makes me feel absolutely disgusted with myself again that I completely ruined everything with her over sex that I didn't even get. And then this other cute somewhat nerdy girl that I've kind of been considering lately was in the car with me when I took her home, and it's been seeming like she likes me but I couldn't shut up about the other girl one the way home. I saw myself doing it and I couldn't stop, it just bothered me so much what had happened and what I was doing at the same time. I feel so disgusted and hopeless with myself.
HopefulRomantic wrote:
spirtualpatterns wrote:
j5689 wrote:
So back in July, I told a girl I liked that I liked her but she didn't really want me that way but I said I at least offer my virginity to her and she said she would take me up on it one day because she had always wanted to. And then a few days later I started realizing that I really liked her a lot more than I though and that led to me instantly doubting and thinking too much and I saw she had 5 other guy friends at her house(it really wasn't like that though) and I started saying wreckless stuff on Twitter about how I was gonna get drunk in the middle of the day and stuff. And then one of my friends invited me over there and she knew what it was all about already pretty much.
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Then two weeks later we talked about it, and then I asked her if she would still take my virginity and she said she couldn't and then she hesitated as she was about to explain why, and then I completed the sentence for her saying "You're afraid I'm going to get too attached" and she said yeah, but eventually I asked her if I could at least get my first kiss and then she gave it to me, but later on in time, she could still tell by the way I was acting that I still really wanted sex and she had had even told some of my other friends that she felt like that's all I was about now. And then eventually I guess some other b***h was making drama with it or something and she started saying on Twitter some stuff that wasn't directly at anybody but matched my situation perfectly.
She was saying how we were either going to be JUST friends or not friends at all and a bunch of other stuff. And then then next time I saw her and gave her a ride a month after she wouldn't even look at me. But now she at least says hi.
I'm just really distressed and can't get over it. This would've been a really easy way to finally have sex after all this time and with a really hot girl, I was crazy about her body and not just because I liked her. It was pretty much a guarantee, all I had to do was just not think about it but I did and I completely screwed it up. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless, and I'm extremely angry that I screwed that up, it might've even let her get close to me. I haven't been able to forgive myself for it since it happened
Make sure its the right person when you do choose to open up. Thats the one thing I hate about aspergers is the relationship issues. When You choose to open your heart it will be to the wrong person and you'll get your heart ripped out. Then It's like your love seeking side is replaced with hatred and mistrust. So choose real carefully.
I think this reply is spot on. Is it worth the risk of getting your heart ripped (and the resultant trauma) to lose your virginity? I think not.
Based upon your posts, you appear to be emotionally attached to this lady. I believe you mentioned the word "jealous." Unless you can separate the emotional aspects of having sex from the physical aspects, then you would be setting yourself up for a train wreck willingly.
I never could separate the emotional aspects of making love from the physical aspects. And for that matter, I am glad I can't and would never want to change this aspect of me.
In addition to the potential emotional trauma of being intimate with someone who isn't emotionally attached to you, there are other serious other risks to consider: STDs. I am not trying to say that your lady friend is promiscuous (and we know you are not), because I don't know her IRL or an accurate accounting of her sexual history.
All I can say is this - some people are promiscuous and don't practice safe sex - which is utterly incredulous with all the public information about how STDs are spread. End of day, I would follow the wise advise of the respondent poster who I quoted: Choose very
carefully with an eye toward protecting your heart, mental health and physical well being!
I don't often tell every single girl that I like that I like them like that, it's really only been her and the girl I was crazy about in high school that I've done that for. And when I did it to the girl I liked in high school, I told her I loved her, which all my friends said was completely wrong anyway.
Chronos wrote:
j5689 wrote:
Chronos wrote:
There's other girls to have sex with in the world.
Yeah, but I don't really know how to approach so I have to wait for one to approach me and hopefully one day I'll finally play my cards right to get something out of it that wasn't for pityThis is a problem. Most girls don't approach guys. They might hint they would like to be approached but they won't do the actual asking out. That is your responsibility. You may blame your ancestors and their concepts of modesty for this. Girls have other responsibilities in relationships (I'm not talking about sex, that's not a responsibility) which are equally, if not more difficult for someone on the spectrum.
So how do you ask a girl out? Ideally this would be a girl you've had some interactions with already. You could simply go up to her and say something like "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to go see a movie with me." Or "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to get some coffee or something."
Or you can slowly cultivate the relationship....personally I think this takes more skill than just getting to the point and asking her out, and it can be easier to end up in the friend zone if you don't make the right moves at the right time, provided she has some romantic interest in you.
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