Friend who's a boy

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Sorry for yet another rambling descirption of a simple problem, but your thoughts are very useful to me.

I have got a friend, my first in more than 7years, he is a boy and Im a girl. I think it was intended by the person who introduced us that we have a relationship. We have been meeting and playing sport together and emailing every other day for months now. Ive come to the conclusion that as I cant find a spark that makes me want more than friendship from him.

The current dilema is I was asked by work if I was bringing someone to the christmas meal party (ie significant other), for the past 3 years I have taken my very sociable sister, as work allowed me to and she made me feel more relaxed in the very stressful party environment. Forced with making a quick decision to say someone or noone I said someone without naming anyone.
The person who introduced me to the boy friend sits behind me at work and Im almost certain he was listening and will tell the boy Im taking him to the christmas meal.

Im considering a few solution, which are, take my sister and confuse everyone and hope the boy gets the idea I dont see him as my significant other , invite the boy and let everyone else make wild assumptions that he's my new boyfriend and probably give him ideas that its ok to make a move on me, or explain to the boy its a 50% split between him and my sister as to who I take and that I would take him on the understanding he doesnt read anything into it and the just friends status still applies.

I dont think I could have the last conversation with him in person but I revealed my aspergers to him by email and sometimes we seem to say more by email as we are both quiet people.

Any advice or recommendations anyone?

Last edited by oddness on 25 Oct 2011, 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It sounds like you would rather go with your sister to the party, in which case I'd say go with her and tell your friend just what you said here, that these type of things can be difficult for you and she helps you get through it. You shouldn't be making decisions based on what somebody else will assume and tell him. If he's a friend, he'll understand.

Now, suppose you WANT to take him, but you're afraid of what others would think and what he would think it means. In that case, I'd take him, then if someone says. "Oh, is this your boyfriend/husband?", simply smile and say, "We're friends." Don't say, "We're JUST friends," because the "JUST" appears to diminish the relationship, implying that a friendship is unimportant.

IMO, honesty is the best policy. Tell him you just don't feel that "spark" that is needed to carry your friendship to a different level. Without telling him, he is going to take you e-mailing him and talking to him that you are interested in a relationship.
With telling him will create a possible of 2 reactions; (1) - he will blow you off or (2) - he will agree with you and continue with the way things are. Grow some (kahunas); take some kind of action

if you fully believe you've given it your best shot, i'd tell him you arent interested in dating. leading people on isnt cool.

Yes, I agree. Hopefully he feels the same way as you, and hasn't gotten his hopes up that you are attracted more than as a friend. I've been in that situation of wanting more WAY too many times it seems.