24 Things Single People are Tired of Hearing

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Just read this:

24 Things Single People are Tired of Hearing

I don't think people realise I don't want comfort, I want to work out a plan of action. But social things don't work out like that do they?

My most unfavourite one is "When you're married you'll wish you were single."

You don't know that. Just because your life worked out the way it did doesn't mean I am the exact same person as you in the exact same circumstances. I am not you!

Also this comment is offered when I haven't said anything about wanting to get married. Maybe I just want to date someone for a while. Some people assume that if you make a move to show someone you want to spend some more time with them it means you've started planning the wedding. I don't get that. It irritates me. Can you tell? two or three people have irritated me lately.

I can't win, I've either got family harassing me to settle down or bitter old women telling me that it's better to be alone and free.

I want to just live my life and be me.

The rejoinder to that: "Get a divorce if it's that bad."

I have said that I don't mind if the relationship doesn't last forever.

They tell me that they are sparing me the pain of a broken down relationship. Sparing me the pain of a broken heart in the long run. And that annoys me too. So what they're saying to me is that I shouldn't live life for fear of ever being hurt. That isn't grown up. Life is filled with ups and downs and is not perfect. I seem to draw people to me that have the attitude that if something isn't perfect then it isn't worth the effort. I have no idea how I draw such unbalanced people to me. I think it has something to do with my dysfunctional upbringing and lack of self confidence.

My attitude is that a relationship or even a friendship is good if the two people involved are not perfect, but have good problem solving and communication skills and can discuss things and come to a point of understanding and forgiveness. That takes someone you trust to make something like a close relationship work.

I think I should just have a chamomile tea and go to bed and stop ranting.

Definition of being single: Someone who has never made the same mistake once.

12. "There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Yay! seal food, WTF does that have to do with single humans though?

7. “They don’t deserve you.”

21. “We’ll all be laughing about this someday.”

My mom and my sister say these to me whenever I bring up the subject of me wanting to date someone.

I get those a lot, too. I should just wear a wedding band on my left hand. Maybe people will leave me alone.

I've actually done this. It works quite well.

I can relate to many on this list because most people make the mistake of thinking I'm single and I don't want to be.

Having said that, hurtloam, I think you're in a much sticker situation when it comes to this and how to handle it because of social expectations relating to your circumstances. Because of your age and the fact that you're a woman, most women (and men - people in general really) are going to assume that you desperately want to get married before "time runs out".

You're right, there really is no plan if action to implement when it comes to social stuff.

But it is much harder to handle it graciously when stupid comments are made by well meaning people if there is some truth to it in terms of you not wanting to be single.

I decided when I was eight years old that I would never marry or have a boyfriend, because I didn't want to. That never changed, and I am in my mid 50s now. When I would be taken to family functions as a teen, and later when I was in my 20s and 30s, when I drove my mother to family visits, I would be asked by all the ladies there, "Do you have a boyfriend?", and "When are you getting married?" When I would tell them that I wasn't interested, they all said that I would change my mind. I never did, but I still remember how annoying it was to be told that, when I knew how dead set I was on being unattached. Maybe I should have told them I took a vow of celebacy. (Time to shoot the spell checker.--It didn't like any of the versions I tried for celebacy, so the heck with the spell checker. I'l spil et iny durn wey ey plis.)

Some people are good at being on their own, others are not.

I know who I am, glad to hear you know who you are.

I really hate being told how many other people there are. I know how many people there are. I dont need to be told how many people are also out there willing to tell me they don't want to go out with me.

# 2 “It’ll happen when you least expect it.”

Yea... i hate hearing that, especially from females

as well as numbers 9, 18, 24

That's mostly used by people who see marriage as a burden instead of a blessing.

My mother has used a version of #20 many times. She says, "God is going to give you the woman of your dreams someday." I try so hard to believe that, but on difficult days it feels so contrary in my heart.

The other one I hate is #18, which seems to be most often used by the "me first befpore anyone else" crowd. I keep thinking of Adam in the Garden of Eden, who had daily, personal visits with God Himself...yet he still knew something important was missing. One of my most often-repeated prayers is, "God, I want my Eve. This life is so hard to put up with alone."

Thanks, I think you've hit the nail on the head. I feel like if I approach a man now that I'm older I can see him having a look of panic in his eyes. People genuinely do assume that I am desperate to get married and I'm not. I find it weird though, that men my own age who are single seem to automatically think that my talking to them indicates that I am looking for some long term commitment from them, but then I suppose, they are maybe facing the same pressure to settle down from their family members and aging parents who are desperate for grandkids. I don't want kids, so I have no timer ticking. I'll just meet someone compatible when I meet someone compatible. Shrug.

Good for you! People should mind their own business. If you are happy as you are then why should you change.

I can't brush my family off with a pretend vow of celibacy. They're mostly liberal athiests/agnostics and would view it as a sign that I'd trully lost my marbles and try and get me to change my mind. I actully think that is part of my problem. I think they assume I have taken a vow of celibacy. That's why I keep getting pressure to change. They think I'm going down some self-inflicted religious, sexless path, whereas I know myself and I know that I am too quirky to find someone compatible with ease. It's weird how they assume things rather than see me as I am.

I just find it difficult to meet someone I feel comfortable around and when i was younger and had maybe a little bit of interest from men I found it difficult to work out whether they were interested at all, or I couldn't work out how to show appropriate signals of my interest and so on. Then on a couple of occassions I found out, years later when they were with someone else, that someone had liked me in the past.

Now that my social skills are improved I have missed the boat it would seem and there are less single men around my age.