For the guys, what catches your interest?

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For future reference, what is it you men in this forum try to find in a female? I'm almost exclusively attracted to men with autistic traits but they never seem interested in me. Just curious.

Could it be that those traits are what cause them to seem uninterested?

As for what guys look for in a woman, personal tastes vary very much, but one thing we all seem to want is a woman who makes us feel good about about ourselves. And most of us seem to like a calm, laid back, demeanor.

I can't speak for all of autism, but I guess someone with a unique personality, different from a crowd of boring and uninteresting superficial people.

Bold, unafraid to express themselves, comfortable in their skin, a real individual.

Able to hold an intellectually engaging conversation of humor.

Usually I let a friendship build up to get to know them better, and I usually ask since I know how difficult it can be. I'm almost always turned down though. My NT friends say I let myself get friendzoned, but I can't ask a guy I don't know.

Intellect and creativity are high on my list. Also someone who has more important projects in her life than trying to change me into a domesticated farm animal.

Literacy is a big plus, too. I'm really tired of meeting girls who can't differentiate between there, their, and they're, and who are looking for someone to "except" them.

A sense of humor and some communications skills.

Someone who realizes there's more to life than babies and booze....

Big boobs. Just kidding. Seriously, Aspie or Aspie-like traits seem attractive to me. I met a girl at the local zoo, but she turns out to be way too outgoing for me I think.

Same thing here.

I dont believe in the firendzone concept per say. Are people just supposed to approach random strangers they just met on the street to avoid taking the risk of being friendzoned? should I make my interest clear from the very first day and take the risk of coming across as a creep/only interested in one thing, I could go on.


If the attraction is there the other person is going to accept and if it isnt I know you cant change the other person´s perception with time but I at least have a good friend which is also quite hard to find(the perks of approaching people on something beyond looks).



As for what am I looking for: someone that seems compatible(similar interests/similar way of thinking/something in common) and who is interested in something beyond sex/seems trustworthy.

Typically I look for someone who is goofy yet unafraid. Someone who doesn't want to change my opinion to meet theirs, and doesn't expect me to do the same to them. Can she do something besides go to restaurants or a bar? Is she only comfortable in large groups of people with loud music? Can she form an opinion and explain it?

whatever i pay attention to "catches my interest" because if something did not "catch my interest" then i would not pay attention to it.

For me it's geekiness: a logical, rational approach to life and/or an inordinate amount of interest/depth in an obscure topic.

In other words: "talk nerdy to me..."

Whilst I don't have a deterministic list (e.g., it's about chemistry), here's a few of mine:

- openness / honesty - absolutely, 100% must
- fidelity - I'm being honest, and my longest relationship failed due to fidelity failure
- feedback - I don't mind making the running but I'd rather it not be a one-way street
- own interests - I'd be delighted with someone who matched 100% with my interests, but I'd rather get to enjoy theirs and they mine
- intellect - the ability to discuss things other than the contents of "Heat" magazine and learn from every encounter

Oh, and if they're Scottish too, then that's extra-specially-100%-excellent.

JC (expatriate Scot)

eccentric in appearance, eccentric behavior, schizotypy temperment, intelligent, attractive.

What I wanted & needed was someone who could understand & relate to me & get me; a woman who was different, unique, sympathetic to me & kind of on my level. The best way a girl could spark my interest when I was single was to be my friend for a bit; I liked most any single girl who was nice to me after a while

Spontaneity,curiosity, humor, someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously, someone who I can talk to as a friend and just hang out with without all the expectations and pressures of relationships, someone easy going. I seem to really get along well with tomboys and most relationship I've had have been with tomboys, like feminine on the outside but with a very tomboy fashion sense, humor and personality. I don't really relate to typical girls, I never know what to say to them but with tomboys, I can just tease them like they are guy friends and be playful with them.

Reciprocation of course or someone equal to me.

Right on brother. I am "interested" in a variety of females but in terms of making things work this is always the best.