techstepgenr8tion wrote:
If your ex is a good guy he probably still cares about you as a person (when you really think about it, if you get that close to someone for any amount of time, you build a pretty deep bond and set of life memories), and if he feels like he's alienated you it might be worth saying something short and say thanks for checking up.
I'd speak in generalities, say you've been busy, probably do the NT thing and talk about the positive while omitting the negative. You don't need to mention the current relationship unless he starts prodding past that like he's curious as to whether you're single, and at that I'd still make a brief passing mention - in a way that he can tell that you wanted to make the impact of that as mild as you could rather than "I've got a man, thank you", lol.
Realistically if one or both of you are seeing people, I agree, this should stay at arms length and be rare. If and when you're both single it can be a point I suppose where you can be platonic friends again at least and make the most of that. However if you have current obligations you have current obligations stay true to those, neither the guy you're with or the guy you were with would either like it or feel comfortable if you dropped the current situation like a bad habit.
Hmm that makes sense, though I don't think I am going to put on the NT act.....that would be kind of pointless, I mean he asked how I was doing so I'll be honest I however will not include all the details but yeah if he can't deal with the fact I've been better, well its probably better we don't talk.
As for the guy I am with its rather complicated, right now I would say we are just friends......I am kind of trying to figure out how I feel and he has not shown any signs that he's quite ready to jump back into the relationship the way it was, there was something between us that got resolved but it's probably still going to take a while for him to figure out how he feels and what he wants to do and for me to figure out the same things.