But then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid...

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OldFashioned
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05 Nov 2011, 7:28 pm

...Like I love you!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqWZoL_luxo[/youtube]

Do you think I can mess it up if I declare my unconditional love during a date or early on in a relationship? Once I'm in love, it's that, I'm in love not for any particular reason, I just am and I want to say it.



Moog
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05 Nov 2011, 8:06 pm

OldFashioned wrote:
Do you think I can mess it up if I declare my unconditional love during a date or early on in a relationship?


Yes.


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hartzofspace
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05 Nov 2011, 8:16 pm

Yes. But it is alright to say that you are getting to really like someone. Or just commenting on something; for example, if you watched a movie together, you can tell her that you really enjoy watching movies with her. Never speak of love early, because too many players use that same line to get a woman into bed, without really meaning it.


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glasstoria
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05 Nov 2011, 8:34 pm

Yes, because a person (most likely) wants to be loved for who they really are inside, and how can you already know who they are if you have only recently met and started to get to know each other?

I would not want to be "loved" just because someone has a funny feeling in their stomach and just wants to. I want to be loved because someone has seen my strengths and weaknesses and cares about me from the perspective of having at least spent some amount of time getting to know me.

It would be okay to say that you are excited to spend time with someone, that you are really happy spending that time together, etc, but I wouldn't resort to saying those three words (I love you) early. If you have to say something you could say that you love specific things, which is still positive. "I love your laugh" or "I love your sense of humor".

Just my opinion. :)


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blueroses
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05 Nov 2011, 8:34 pm

If you really feel you love someone early on in a relationship, put your energy into showing it, not saying it. If you say "I love you" outside the context of a well-established, committed relationship, it'll either irritate her if she thinks it's insincere or frighten the heck out of her if she thinks it is sincere.



Daryl_Blonder
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06 Nov 2011, 3:54 pm

"Saying the wrong thing"... meh, whatever. I often see it as other people being afraid to hear the honest truth. You're not the one with the problem, they are.

If someone doesn't want to "tolerate" hearing the truth, it's their loss, not mine.

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femme
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06 Nov 2011, 4:07 pm

Yes absolutely.


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06 Nov 2011, 7:36 pm

OldFashioned wrote:
...Like I love you!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqWZoL_luxo[/youtube]

Do you think I can mess it up if I declare my unconditional love during a date or early on in a relationship? Once I'm in love, it's that, I'm in love not for any particular reason, I just am and I want to say it.

yes. if you tell someone you love them when they dont love you back (too soon), it puts a massive block on the relationship.

this is because now she knows you love her, but she doesnt love you. she feels obligated to reciprocate the feeling that she doesnt have, and it pushes her further away from you instead of bringing the two of you closer together.

to be completely honest, i wouldnt tell someone i loved them until i had dated them for at least 6 months (and even then thats probably too soon.)

i think its best if the girl knows you like her, and are interested in her, but wonders what she could do to make you say 'i love you'. it keeps you a 'challenge' which is important for a healthy relationship, in my opinion.



chrissyrun
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06 Nov 2011, 9:26 pm

Or it can put too much pressure and responsibility on the relationship early on and both of you stress out and especially if it's already during a time of stress....it can move the relationship backwards. I say this from personal experience.


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06 Nov 2011, 10:18 pm

I think it's respectful to wait a while by watching for signals that she's receptive beyond friendship. A few dates, a kiss, an "I love you," and you're home free.



shrox
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06 Nov 2011, 11:01 pm

OldFashioned wrote:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqWZoL_luxo[/youtube]


They're brother and sister...like Luke and Leia.



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06 Nov 2011, 11:14 pm

Whisper it into her ear while she sleeps. Now that's anecdotal.