Anybody cease to care about dating after a certain age?

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pezar
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05 Nov 2011, 5:43 pm

I am almost 37, and I haven't really looked for a date in ages. When I was younger (like under 25) I was really horny and really wanted to date, albeit mainly for sex. Then I simply stopped caring at around age 26-27. I had a couple women propose (sexually) to me (online), but I was like meh, mainly because I had no way of bathing for a while. (I lived in a travel trailer.)

Then when I got back into the dating scene at around 30, I found that few women wanted to date me, and I went through "phases" of caring and not caring. Like some days I will be really bored and page through profiles of women on OKCupid and Craigslist ads and think "gosh I wish I had somebody", then most of the rest of the time I will be like who cares?

I recently had a woman message me on OKCupid, and we talked for a while but then she stopped talking to me, and I kinda want to go after her but another part of me says "why should you care, you're fat after all and old and have gray hair, why care?". I mean I really sort of have a flat affect, and only occasionally do I care.

It seems that after my testosterone levels went down (and I think it's related to psych meds that I really need) that I just stopped caring about whether I have a date. It seems that most people my age are in really unhappy relationships and cheat all the time, and I wonder if love is so great how come everybody is cheating on their spouses? You know?



fraac
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05 Nov 2011, 5:53 pm

I've never done 'dating', very glad I don't live in America where that's the culture. I've been off sex and haven't had the urge to be near people for a while. I expect try it again just for something to do.



LexF
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05 Nov 2011, 6:09 pm

It becomes less and less of a priority for me as time passes.

And, for me, I guess it's mainly because all of my past relationships have been so horrible that it only takes me about four seconds to talk myself out of trying again.

If there's nothing good out there, there's nothing good out there, and wishing otherwise isn't going to make it magically appear.

And I haven't totally given up on the idea of finding someone decent -- although I'm more likely to win the lottery five days in a row -- but it's just not all that important anymore.

All the stuff I need to do, I can do perfectly well on my own. The rest would be gravy. Hypothetical gravy.



shrox
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05 Nov 2011, 6:12 pm

For me it has become more of a priority. I was pretty happy most of my marriage of 15 years, I want to have that kind of happiness again.



OneStepBeyond
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05 Nov 2011, 6:32 pm

i don't care already. i'm so advanced



The_Face_of_Boo
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05 Nov 2011, 6:36 pm

I have no idea, I am totally agnostic about this element in life.



sinsboldly
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05 Nov 2011, 9:16 pm

Menopause was the best thing that has ever happened to me because my hormones finally gave me a break and just stopped driving me into one total disaster after another.

I think about intellectual companionship from time to time, but I would probably annoy them to tears before the first week was out.

it is a relief to me to not NEED it anymore.

your mileage may vary, of course


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DialAForAwesome
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05 Nov 2011, 10:57 pm

I stopped caring not too long ago. The bad part?

I just turned 23.

It's just, after all those years of being told by girls that I was "ugly" (despite not being THAT bad, compared to some of the guys they end up dating) or "creepy" (even though I don't do anything creepy; I'm a keep-to-myself kind of person) or "too smart" or whatever, I finally had a girl (supposedly) like me last year and she went and did the same thing that all these other ones did. So that was the straw that broke the camel's back and since then I just haven't cared.

I'll see a woman I think is attractive and be like "oh, she's cute" in my head, but then it quickly turns to apathy. Or I'll think "she's already got a b/f" or "she wouldn't like me." 'Cause after years of having stuff like that beaten into your head, it basically becomes true.

I think part of it is the double whammy of having AS traits, plus deafness (which messed my speech up and makes me sound like I'm mentally challenged) which keeps me from dating women, and not so much being "ugly" or acting "creepy" even though I'm nothing of the sort.


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Kiseki
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06 Nov 2011, 12:00 am

I stopped caring about it after my last rejection. I've had enough of falling for people who APPEAR to like me, but actually don't. I'm tired of putting in the effort to get to know people who will only end up rejecting me.

I've never been on a date in my life. I don't think I ever will.


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AngelKnight
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06 Nov 2011, 6:44 am

For my own life, I'm usually so oblivious to the idea of dating that I've had it explained to me: "Oh yeah, that dinner you had a few days/weeks/years ago with that chick? That was a date."

I guess I don't perceive it, so I'm in no situation to miss it.



gadge
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06 Nov 2011, 8:42 am

shrox wrote:
For me it has become more of a priority. I was pretty happy most of my marriage of 15 years, I want to have that kind of happiness again.


Wow, it seems to be a trend for "men of a certain age'

My marriage lasted 10yrs and only the last12mos were unpleasant. I took a year to figure out myself and get over it. Then dated for a while, to no avail and pretty much gave up.

I've come to realize that being in love and having someone to care about, and vise versa was, is worth it.


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Grisha
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06 Nov 2011, 10:15 am

I'll never be that old if I live to be 100.



shrox
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06 Nov 2011, 2:10 pm

gadge wrote:
shrox wrote:
For me it has become more of a priority. I was pretty happy most of my marriage of 15 years, I want to have that kind of happiness again.


Wow, it seems to be a trend for "men of a certain age'

My marriage lasted 10yrs and only the last12mos were unpleasant. I took a year to figure out myself and get over it. Then dated for a while, to no avail and pretty much gave up.

I've come to realize that being in love and having someone to care about, and vise versa was, is worth it.


It's taken me almost 5 years!



Jory
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06 Nov 2011, 3:51 pm

I'm only 28 and I've already stopped caring. I haven't dated anyone since 2003 and I'm fine with that. I'm not against dating, and I often think it would be nice to have it in my life again, but I'm not going to pursue it. If anyone's interested, they can come to me.