Frustration

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My boyfriend and I are both aspies. One might think it would be easier for us to forgive each other for emotional blunders or misunderstandings. It seems to be worse however. We constantly misunderstand each other, and hurt each others' feelings. I'm terrible at communication, I seldom know what I've done or said wrong and he's the same. How can we learn to communicate more efficiently? Does anyone know of a good book that would help?

I love him very much and really want to find a way to improve the relationship.

you just need to work at it.

dont let things that bother you build up over time. be direct with each other.

'when you do X, it makes me feel Y' is very important here. tell him you want to improve your communication, and that the first step is trying to talk thru issues and problems super soon. you gotta work at it, but you cant do it alone. building a relationship takes two .

just make sure you both are comfortable with telling the other person how you feel about certain things that you do. if you are doing something that makes him uncomfortable, he should TELL YOU (and vice versa). thats what you should work towards if you want to see improvement.

Some might think this is "passive aggressive" but for some people it might work. Perhaps, you might communicate better through writing things down. Just a thought.

We tend to text the more difficult to discuss conversations. It gives us as much time as we need to respond without the pressure to respond immediately one has with face to face conversation. We've been talking more as well and it's slowly improving. I wondered for awhile if it was worth all the trouble but it turns out it is.

Thanks

Definitely, you should really keep working on verbalizing your feelings to each other through speech so you can both build a system of communication because it may not always be applicable to text or use Skype and you could end up reliant on it. The more you do it, the more comfort you'll build and you'll start to understand how you both communicate over time.

Speech is how most people do it.

Aspies tend to prefer text. I say cool deal.