Am I Invisible

Post Reply New Topic

Without going into details, I know a couple chicks that are butt-ugly, fat, etc.- yet they get as many so-called "boyfriends" and such as they want. (The chicks are really just sex addicts, but let's call their partners boyfriends for the sake of this post.) I am twenty, more attractive- not to mention more intelligent- than they are, yet I can't get a single boyfriend. Someone once said it may be because of how I respond when people approach me, but here's the thing- people don't approach me. I go to school full time, join multiple campus organizations, and sell my plasma, yet never meet people. I have few, if any, friends, male or female. Yet my online friends keep telling me I'm attractive, intelligent, etc.

Rather than wait for someone to approach you, have you tried approaching persons of interest yourself?

Here's the thing wether some guys like to admit it or not the single fact of having a vagina doesnt mean that you are going to have hundreds of desperate men at your feet waiting for some attention from you.

You need to let males know that you are interested: flirty comments.... Its a shame but due to the amount of rejections most guys go through in life most of us dont ask someone out unless its pretty clear theres a chance of something happening.

I had a similar problem being unnoticed, wanna know what I did? I made myself noticeable. I started approaching people just for the sake of being noticed, I changed my clothing style/hairstyle... to a more noticeable look...
Right now every person I meet asks me why did I made a conscious choice to achieve a look thats what most people are trying to avoid. My answer is allways the same, I ask this people if they had ever thought of approaching me before I did this changes(we have met at uni, neighbourhood... for years) and I tell them that since I had done this changes people that used to ignore me are starting to acknowledge my presence.

One guy liked me, he turned out to be abusive. There's another guy I like, but he likes being single. Aside from that, I have no idea how to meet people in general.

@ Spongy, I know that just my having a vagina is not enough. I am not stupid. I just thought at least one person would have approached me by now after all this time.

Spongy pretty much hit the nail on the head I think. I've lost count of the number of times that I've asked myself "what's wrong with me?" and "am I invisible?" too but the truth is, for every woman who wonders why no man pays attention to her, there's a lonely guy thinking the same thing! Imagine two people who are attracted to one another, but neither knows the other person's feelings. It happens, and could well be happening to you!

Since there aren't many people you know well 'IRL', I suspect that's the problem. The solution isn't straightforward or easy because it will involve stepping out of your comfort zone and confronting the issue of not meeting people enough, but rest assured you're NOT invisible. By the sounds of things you're a pleasant and attractive person but my guess is that you come across as rather shy and reserved...you're not "difficult to like" but "difficult to know."

It's two-way traffic really. You sound like the sort of woman who wants the man to make the first move, but sadly there are men who want the would-be girlfriend to be the one who does that. I must confess I've been guilty of that in the past - I noticed her all right, but didn't take the initiative.

Send me your photo, I'll tell you if I can see you.

I am ageless, timeless, and never wise.