A question about looks and physical attraction

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thisischris
Hummingbird
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Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: Springfield, Oregon

18 Oct 2006, 5:50 pm

This has been an issue for me most of my life, but I only recently though to ask anyone with AS about it. I've been told different things by different people about physical attraction. If it's important or not. Some say yes and some say no. If you're with someone it's important to be attracted to them, or looks shouldn't matter, no matter what. I agree with both sides, but it's hard to reconcile the two. I try very hard not to judge people based on looks, but I can't help it if I'm attracted to certain things and certain women. What I'm attracted to doesn't exactly fit what society and culture shows us, but some of it I like. I don't want to sound shallow, but should I just not think like this anymore? And with my bad luck with women, should I just take what I can get? My standards are pretty low and I'm open minded. Unless there is something about someone I just can't stand, I give people a chance. And I know I shouldn't settle, but do I have a right to choose? Like beggars can't be choosers you know? Also I know it may sound like I just care about looks, but that's so far from wrong. It's just part of it. And ultimately if I had the chance to be with someone who was great looking, but the chemistry just wasn't there, I wouldn't bother with it. I'd rather be with someone who was considered average and have the greatest thing in the world. I just always have this nagging issue in the back of my mind. I think I've said everything, but if I've missed something please let me know. Thanks everyone.



JonDevine
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 17 Oct 2006
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Location: A small town in western North Carolina

18 Oct 2006, 8:00 pm

As an overweight male who has studied much into Darwinism, I must say that there are a majority of people who base their judgements on the physical. But you must realize that there are people out there who judge you by your personality. The unfortunate thing is my personality isn't all that appealing with this condition (instead of being quiet and out of the way, I've become too talkative and clingy because I can't tell when they want me to back off). My advice? If <i>you</i> can connect to someone only on a personal level, then the vice versa is true.


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