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Jamesy
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01 Dec 2011, 8:36 am

Have you noticed how 'men's men' or very masculine guys snarl and blank out other men around them yet they are very nice too the ladies?

Why is this? Is it becuase very maculine guys are afraid too open up there feeling around other guys or perhaps there just trying too hard too put on the tough guy act?

I mean just look at guys like Steve McQueen or Clint Eastwood too see what i am talking about.



Maymac
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01 Dec 2011, 8:46 am

It depends, sometimes males are rougher around each other than they are with women and that's just the way they socialise. Are you talking about movies though?



Jamesy
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01 Dec 2011, 8:51 am

Movies and real life as well.... i have seen guys that will just blank you out. its a bit pathetic how some guys try and put on the 'macho act' by being haughty and aloof too other males becuase at the end of the day it just makes you look like a jerk dosen't it?

it pissess me off a bit because you should be nice too both men and women.



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01 Dec 2011, 9:45 am

They want to mate with the women.

The other men are rivals in their quest to do so.

It's quite simple.


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Maymac
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01 Dec 2011, 9:50 am

Sometimes there are legitimate uses for displaying 'masculin' characteristics. It's harder to bully a 'manly man' becuse they don't open up all that emotion. In a crisis, sometimes it helps to act like you are okay and in control even when you are not.

Mind you, some men treat women terribly. I understand what you are saying though, about gender; people are people and it shouldn't matter.


e: Other men aren't rivals, a Manly Man needs their support, they need to be 'leader of the pack' and that's about showing how tough and mean you are compared to other MANLY MEN



Jamesy
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01 Dec 2011, 10:14 am

Mayman you get my point that treating other guys in that way just makes you an unpleasent a**hole? I have met guys who play the macho 'act' and they are really unpleasent, rude and tedious too be around.

You can be straight and still treat other guys with respect and manners... although i find men who are more 'sensitive' are more pleasent and fun too hang out with then the masculine type of guys.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Dec 2011, 10:34 am

*Roar*



PTSmorrow
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01 Dec 2011, 10:49 am

For me it's because i'm simply not interested in males as friends or anything else. Not exactly going for fights, though, but arrogant, ignorant, and uninterested. It's not a "bad" feeling like aggressiveness or hatred towards other men, it's the comprehensive absence of feeling. Plain indifference. So far the feelings.

What i think is that especially in work situations many men are lazy and incompetent bums who avoid responsibility and personal commitment at all costs. I argue that i'm getting paid for working, not to avoid work and dawdle time away. Therefore, i really don't mind to outdo them.

However, i don't care if others consider me rude or whatever. The less they like me, the more they leave me alone, and that's what i want.



Jamesy
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01 Dec 2011, 11:36 am

thats exactley what i was thinking about not needing males as friends......

Don't take offense PTSmorrow but as an aspie guy surely it must be difficult having girls as friends? Or is it that you don't care for having friends (esspecially guys) be it if there male or female?



PTSmorrow
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01 Dec 2011, 12:48 pm

Jamesy wrote:
thats exactley what i was thinking about not needing males as friends......

Don't take offense PTSmorrow but as an aspie guy surely it must be difficult having girls as friends? Or is it that you don't care for having friends (esspecially guys) be it if there male or female?


Female friends are more pleasurable to be around and communicate with, although i avoid relationships. But friendships, romances, and female bosses works usually great for me. It's a different kind of interaction. More often than not women appreciate someone who listens attentively. Frankly, i'm more tolerant towards women. :wink:

Between men, rivalry plays a major role. However, these may be stereotypes.

I do care for having friends, as long as there is enough common interests.



MR20
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01 Dec 2011, 12:56 pm

Those type of men are douches, and most women who are interested in them are more than likely whores and/or have self-esteem issues.



Jamesy
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02 Dec 2011, 8:41 am

PTSmorrow is there just something about guys taht annoys you?



mds_02
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02 Dec 2011, 9:36 am

I admit to being a little like this. I don't think I put out an actively hostile vibe, I'm usually more aloof. It's kind of a defense mechanism. Other men have done some really sh***y things to me throughout my life. When I'm around them now, especially in groups, I go on the defensive really quick. And, while some women have been less than great toward me, almost every act of kindness I've ever experienced has come from a female. I just feel more at ease around them, less afraid.

So, when I'm around men, I keep things on a very superficial level. And I don't take well to any perceived challenge.

I agree that this isn't a healthy way to behave. I'm sure there've been quite a few guys who've thought I was a giant a**hole (and not without reason), though I do try to be decent toward people. I don't have anything against the idea of friendship with another guy, but it takes me a very long time to get comfortable around them. And, by the time I do, they've usually written me off as a dick.


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Last edited by mds_02 on 02 Dec 2011, 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Asp-Z
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02 Dec 2011, 9:38 am

Jamesy wrote:
Have you noticed how 'men's men' or very masculine guys snarl and blank out other men around them yet they are very nice too the ladies?

Why is this? Is it becuase very maculine guys are afraid too open up there feeling around other guys or perhaps there just trying too hard too put on the tough guy act?

I mean just look at guys like Steve McQueen or Clint Eastwood too see what i am talking about.


Because they put on a front for the girls in order to have sexual intercourse with them. Hardly rocket science.

"Someone who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person."



PTSmorrow
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02 Dec 2011, 1:51 pm

Jamesy wrote:
PTSmorrow is there just something about guys taht annoys you?


Yes.

Maymac wrote:
Quote:
Other men aren't rivals, a Manly Man needs their support, they need to be 'leader of the pack' and that's about showing how tough and mean you are compared to other MANLY MEN


It's this kind of pack mentality that's pissing me off. I'm a loner and individual, not necessarily member of a group, at least if i can avoid it.

But i guess i should define it a little more clearly. Jamesy, if you're alone with another guy in a close friendship, there's not much difference to the interactions with a woman, it's a one-to-one thing. However, if another guy or a few guys join in, what you have then is not some individuals, but a pack.

In a pack, yes, they are roaring in an attempt to outshout each other. They perform strange rituals like drinking till they drop, or arm wrestling, to name just two.

There was one long-standing best friend who passed away a few years ago. Our friendship was based on common interests and we had exhilarating conversations and discussions.

Back to your OP, i suppose opening up emotionally around other guys (or one other guy) takes time and trust. First you got to get to know them. In addition, display of feelings in guys is generally a delicate matter, even today. Steve McQueen and Clint Eastwood (don't forget John Wayne!) were role models for male behavior. We have grown up with the demand to hide our feelings, especially "weak" feelings like being hurt, sad, needy and so on. The traditional stereotype for boys was, don't talk, just act!



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02 Dec 2011, 7:50 pm

alpha males.