Which is more psychologically healthy?

Page 1 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

The-Raven
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 762

09 Dec 2011, 2:33 pm

which is more psychologically healthy or more likely to lead to happiness?

to chose celibacy and decide to purposely stay alone?
or
to chose to actively seek a partner?
or
to not actively seek a partner but be open to having one if they come along?



Concretebadger
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 172

09 Dec 2011, 2:35 pm

Probably the third one. That's the option I decided on a while back.

I figured it was a compromise between trying too hard and not trying at all.



mv
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,131

09 Dec 2011, 2:47 pm

I chose the third one, it was the best option for me. It's fairly constant, and that's the most important thing to my temperament and situation.



Wolfheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,971
Location: Kent, England

09 Dec 2011, 2:49 pm

I agree, the third choice is the best choice, I don't think the second choice is healthy because I don't think happiness can come from depending on someone else or at least it shouldn't.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

09 Dec 2011, 3:39 pm

To enjoy celibacy while actively looking.



Dunnyveg
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 370
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

09 Dec 2011, 3:50 pm

I think the answer to this question of how to handle romantic relationships would depend on the individual. In any case, I think the primary relationship must be with ourselves, and that begins with recognizing our own strengths and limitations.



Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

09 Dec 2011, 4:56 pm

The-Raven wrote:
which is more psychologically healthy or more likely to lead to happiness?

to chose celibacy and decide to purposely stay alone?
or
to chose to actively seek a partner?
or
to not actively seek a partner but be open to having one if they come along?


Third one. That's how most good relationships start out.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

09 Dec 2011, 5:26 pm

Dunnyveg wrote:
I think the answer to this question of how to handle romantic relationships would depend on the individual. In any case, I think the primary relationship must be with ourselves, and that begins with recognizing our own strengths and limitations.

I agree about it depending on the individual.
In my personal experience. I spent the 1st 20 years of my life not interested in relationships at all because I wanted to be alone(option1) & I was NOT happy & having psychological problems. I became friends with a girl on Comedy Central's forums & after a while she wanted to have a relationship with me & I realized I cared about her to so I agreed(option3) & I was happy for a while & my psychological issues got beter for a bit till we started having problems. I started actively searching for someone after things ended(option2) & I was pretty unhappy & having some psychological issues till I met someone & then I became happy again & my psycholgical issues improved till things ended. Now I'm sort of actively looking again & I'm happier than I was before the 2nd relationship & I'm doing better psychologically than I ever was in my life I think being in a relationship with the rite person is the most psychologically healthy thing for me


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

09 Dec 2011, 5:41 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
To enjoy celibacy while actively looking.


Couldn't have said it better.


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


The-Raven
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 762

09 Dec 2011, 5:43 pm

I think for me being celibate is probably most healthy.

Im not able to form good relationships, I dont have enough of the abilities people need in relationships, Im not able to meet peoples needs or not make them cross. I feel very set apart from people and dont think I could find someone like minded, so I think neither party could be happy.

I think I would be better served by pursuing celibacy and my own personal growth and not being involved in someone elses life.



PastFixations
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,735

09 Dec 2011, 6:19 pm

I think to enjoy life along with an occasional search but not too much and take it day by day. Which I guess is a mixture of 2 and 3.



Keeno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2006
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,875
Location: Earth

09 Dec 2011, 7:29 pm

The last one.



tronist
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 309

09 Dec 2011, 10:23 pm

The-Raven wrote:
which is more psychologically healthy or more likely to lead to happiness?

to chose celibacy and decide to purposely stay alone?
or
to chose to actively seek a partner?
or
to not actively seek a partner but be open to having one if they come along?

the last one seems like a cop-out to me. if you arent actively seeking a partner, you really shouldnt expect results. it would be nice if / when they come around, but if you actually want to have a relationship, #2 will yield the best results. this being said, im the type of person that is infinitely more happy when im in a relationship.



DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

10 Dec 2011, 12:49 am

tronist wrote:
The-Raven wrote:
which is more psychologically healthy or more likely to lead to happiness?

to chose celibacy and decide to purposely stay alone?
or
to chose to actively seek a partner?
or
to not actively seek a partner but be open to having one if they come along?

the last one seems like a cop-out to me. if you arent actively seeking a partner, you really shouldnt expect results. it would be nice if / when they come around, but if you actually want to have a relationship, #2 will yield the best results. this being said, im the type of person that is infinitely more happy when im in a relationship.


Last one isn't really a cop out. There are those of us that just don't care at all, its more of a damned if you do damned if you down/ if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesnt response to me. It is defenitely more or less the relaxed minimum stress path.

I honestly don't understand why the hell everyone has to be in a rush for a sexual relationship sometimes (talking aside from human nature). Its probably because relationship = social status booster in this f****d up society we live in.


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

10 Dec 2011, 4:36 am

tronist wrote:
The-Raven wrote:
which is more psychologically healthy or more likely to lead to happiness?
to chose celibacy and decide to purposely stay alone?
or
to chose to actively seek a partner?
or
to not actively seek a partner but be open to having one if they come along?

the last one seems like a cop-out to me. if you arent actively seeking a partner, you really shouldnt expect results. it would be nice if / when they come around, but if you actually want to have a relationship, #2 will yield the best results. this being said, im the type of person that is infinitely more happy when im in a relationship.

I agree. Oftentimes, #3 is really #2. It's in a sense that you're not obsessing with finding a partner, but you're not just sitting around waiting for one, either. In other words, you go to places like singles' events, dance clubs, etc., and sign up for dating sites; but at the same time, you don't spend every waking minute worrying about it. However, since you're willing to accept a partner if one came along, you're ultimately seeking a partner. You're just choosing to be more realistic and rational about it.



spongy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,055
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

10 Dec 2011, 5:57 am

It depends on the person.

Im currently trying the third one, to be comfortable by myself and be open to any possibilities. Right now this means going somewhere I wouldnt normally go if Im invited to and there´ll be people there at least once a month.

Yesterday for example I was invited to an event I wouldnt normally go to(some sort of rave mixed with rap music), normally I would have refused and stayed home but while staying home is a more comfortable choice I dont meet many girls of my age this way so I told him I´ll see if I can make it.


_________________
Please take the time to answer this quick survey to help improve the community

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt255139.html