It's not just attraction.

Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ] Go to page 1, 2 Next

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

14 Dec 2011, 8:52 am

People are in relationships and marriages for all sorts of reasons, possibly least of which is that the spouses/"lovers" are attracted to each other.

There's attraction. There's power (the desire to manipulate and be in control). There's business (I see a good future with her as my wife). And there's pride (Some desire relationships for the sake of being proud of themselves).

Discuss and have fun discussing.

deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Dec 2011, 8:54 am

And there is *gasp* *shock* love.

MCalavera
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

14 Dec 2011, 8:56 am

deconstruction wrote:

And there is *gasp* *shock* love.

Love is a very vague word. I think it should go with attraction in the context of this topic.

deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Dec 2011, 9:11 am

MCalavera wrote:

deconstruction wrote:

And there is *gasp* *shock* love.

Love is a very vague word. I think it should go with attraction in the context of this topic.

No. Love is not attraction, though, arguably, attraction is part of love, but there are more stuff there. I mean, all the things you named: the attraction, pride, etc. are vague.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I do think love is the main reason most people marry.

MCalavera
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

14 Dec 2011, 9:14 am

I added some elaborations in the parentheses so that it'd be clear what I meant by each term. You, on the other hand, have made no attempt to explain what you mean by "love".

To me, there's no difference between "attraction" and "romantic love". Show me how exactly I'm wrong.

deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Dec 2011, 9:28 am

MCalavera wrote:

To me, there's no difference between "attraction" and "romantic love". Show me how exactly I'm wrong.

On a simplest level:

Attraction = You want to f..k their brains out.
Love = You want to share your life with them (living together, sharing the good and the bad, helping each other, sharing physical and mental intimacy).

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

14 Dec 2011, 9:47 am

deconstruction wrote:

And there is *gasp* *shock* love.

The horror!! What's that thing?

deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Dec 2011, 9:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

deconstruction wrote:

And there is *gasp* *shock* love.

The horror!! What's that thing?

You have to feel it yourself to know.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

14 Dec 2011, 11:22 am

I desire a relationship for companionship. Things like love & attraction develop over time after I know the person more.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

MCalavera
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

14 Dec 2011, 4:23 pm

nick007 wrote:

I desire a relationship for companionship. Things like love & attraction develop over time after I know the person more.

Yep, desire for a relationship/marriage is a good factor.

Pity is another one.

Affection with no attraction is yet another one (which is what deconstruction was probably referring to).

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

14 Dec 2011, 4:33 pm

affection != love. i feel affection (and even love) towards friends and family, but it is not the same as romantic love.

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

MCalavera
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,442

14 Dec 2011, 4:37 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

affection != love. i feel affection (and even love) towards friends and family, but it is not the same as romantic love.

Ok, describe "romantic love" without attraction.

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

14 Dec 2011, 4:38 pm

MCalavera wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

affection != love. i feel affection (and even love) towards friends and family, but it is not the same as romantic love.

Ok, describe "romantic love" without attraction.

i can't. attraction is part of it for me. not the whole thing, but one aspect.

_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105

Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

14 Dec 2011, 4:40 pm

MCalavera wrote:

Attraction starts off the whole process, though. Whether it's physical or more about personality, some sort of attraction starts it off.

deconstruction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,764

14 Dec 2011, 5:26 pm

MCalavera wrote:

Affection with no attraction is yet another one (which is what deconstruction was probably referring to).

No, deconstruction was referring to love. Attraction and affection are part of love. (At least for me).

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

14 Dec 2011, 6:39 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

affection != love. i feel affection (and even love) towards friends and family, but it is not the same as romantic love.

It's different for me. I love my family but I do not feel affection towards them. I do NOT feel affection towards anyone unless I were to feel emotionally close/intimate/comfortable with em. It takes aLOT for me to get to that level with someone which is another reason why I need a relationship. I function better when I have someone that I'm really close to & I can not get that without becoming attached & dependent on being with them

Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ] Go to page 1, 2 Next

Jump to:

It's not just attraction. Post Reply New Topic

It's not just attraction.