Boyfriend might be an Aspie...

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Penandinkmarie
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16 Dec 2011, 5:13 am

I've known my boyfriend for about 4 months now, and I've gotten to know him and his habits pretty well. He's told me he had a psychotic episode in college, just one I guess, and he takes Prozac for it, so he's medicated, but then, I think he might be an Aspie like me, just by the way he acts....I believe it's more apparent in him just because he doesn't care what people think about him.

We'll be hanging out and here are some things that I've noticed....

- he's kind of a loner...Very social....phobic? lol and doesn't like going to parties where he doesn't know anyone....
- not physical at all....we still haven't held hands, kissed, or anything like that.....although we kiss on the cheek, but that doesn't count
- he sort of sometimes walks far from me, not like right next to me, he'll just go off on his own and I have to sort of follow him
- doesn't care about the way he dresses, although he's tried to improve for me, because I dress well, but he says it's not an issue for him....that clothes are just clothes.
- will start flipping a bottle of water repeatedly in the air for a while until something else gets his attention
- makes funny noises all the time at random, or when he's stressed out or it gets really quiet
- reads all the road signs/store signs as we pass by them
- likes to randomly jump over things like those road barriers....it's fun for him! I think it's funny but most people I guess would find that odd in a 30 year old man.

I really REALLY like this guy, and I feel completely safe and comfortable around him, and I don't think these are any issues for me, I don't mind any of the above, but I just want to know if he might be an Aspie too.....and if he IS, how do I go about sort of telling him, or talking about it? He doesn't know about my case, he just knows I get panic attacks and take meds for it, but I'm sure from the way I act and stuff I say, I think he might just figure out I'm a bit different too. Any thoughts?? I'd love to hear your similar stories or advice or anything you have to say! Thanks!!



PastFixations
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17 Dec 2011, 2:33 pm

Possible but I would keep your assumptions to yourself and just accept that he may be an autistic. Try not to question it but to accept him.


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hurtloam
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17 Dec 2011, 3:34 pm

Yeah, i've made the mistake of hinting to a guy I liked that he might be an aspie before. It was when I had just discovered whaat as is and I was tottally obsessed with the subject. We were emailing back and forward. He had actually suggested that someone e know might me an aspie, so I figured he knew something about the subject. So there was this trait we have in common that he asked me about. I can't remember what I said exactly,but the tone of his next email seemed a bit peed off. I never heard from him again.
People don't like it when others make assumptions about them or suggest that what they see as unique about themselves might actually be a "syndrome".



Shebakoby
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17 Dec 2011, 4:41 pm

Definitely an aspie. No question about it.

I used to do the wander off thing (as a child) but I expected people to follow me automatically! If he wanders off my god woman FOLLOW HIM.



conan
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17 Dec 2011, 4:54 pm

you could tell him about yourself being an aspie?



Penandinkmarie
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17 Dec 2011, 6:39 pm

I probably WOULD tell him about my being an Aspie but I'm scared......I don't know how he'll take it! haha. He might not even care...or he might see it as totally weird....and then I'd risk the relationship.....you know? Idk.....I mean, I will tell him one day....but why now? When is the right time anyway?? Is there a right time?



Tequila
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17 Dec 2011, 6:42 pm

Where does your username originate OP? 'Cos in Cockney rhyming "slang pen and ink" means "stink". :)



Penandinkmarie
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17 Dec 2011, 6:48 pm

LOL I'm a writer.....definitely I do not stink! HAHAH :D



PastFixations
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18 Dec 2011, 7:56 pm

Penandinkmarie wrote:
I probably WOULD tell him about my being an Aspie but I'm scared......I don't know how he'll take it! haha. He might not even care...or he might see it as totally weird....and then I'd risk the relationship.....you know? Idk.....I mean, I will tell him one day....but why now? When is the right time anyway?? Is there a right time?

Well, I'd say it because then he may open up. I wouldn't have thought that saying it will risk the relationship with it falling apart. Loosen up a little, there is nothing to fear.


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Penandinkmarie
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19 Dec 2011, 4:50 am

You're right.....and I know you're right....I need to loosen up!! ! ARGH....I'm so stressed and stiff sometimes....idk....I've never really been able to completely LET GO.....it's hard. I'll definitely put it in line of important things to talk about...soon....thanks for your comments everyone! <3



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19 Dec 2011, 12:35 pm

I was in a similar situation, and here's how I managed:

One of my co-disorders is facial blindness--I can't recognize people. It's the only part of AS that I can't overcome. I was originally hesitant to tell anybody about it, but eventually I realized that the people who were weirded out by it were people who I didn't want to interact with anyways!

Think of it as a filter. If this guy has these problems (which is *fine*, everyone has problems), he should be understanding of whatever is going on in your life. If he is not understanding, then you just learned something very important about him: he is hypocritical. So either it works out, or you didn't want to be around him anyways. Win-Win.

Finally, if he is shy/inexperienced try getting physical yourself. He might want to make a move, but be oblivious as to how. gender equality! :-)