"Shall we meet up for coffee?"

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17 Dec 2011, 5:08 pm

Ok, say you're at a party or something, you're chatting to someone of the opposite sex that you've just met for the first time, and you want to get to know them better as a friend. Where is the dividing line between asking "Shall we meet up for coffee?" (date) and "Shall we meet up for coffee?" (friends)? You can't really qualify it by saying something like, "Shall we meet up for coffee as friends?" because that sounds like you're hiding the fact that you want to date them, even though you don't.

Last edited by CrinklyCrustacean on 17 Dec 2011, 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tequila
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17 Dec 2011, 5:17 pm

Try to find a turn of phrase that is less associated with dating?

CrinklyCrustacean
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17 Dec 2011, 5:23 pm

Tequila wrote:

Try to find a turn of phrase that is less associated with dating?

You mean like, "Shall we meet up for an iced mocha frappachino?"

WhiteWidow
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17 Dec 2011, 5:28 pm

Just say "We should hang out sometime or something"

They'll know what it means

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17 Dec 2011, 5:29 pm

Redacted

Last edited by nat4200 on 19 Apr 2012, 5:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

hyperlexian
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17 Dec 2011, 5:38 pm

date: let's meet up for coffee [keep it general so the point is to connect]

friend: let's meet up for coffee to talk about _X_. i don't know a lof of people who are interested in that, it would be nice to bounce ideas off someone [keep it specific so the point is to discuss a particular topic]

(just my idea)

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Tequila
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17 Dec 2011, 5:41 pm

This all rather depends on whether meeting for coffee is a big thing in your culture. If it isn't it can come across as creepy and fake.

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17 Dec 2011, 6:01 pm

It depends on whether the person plays GTA: San Andreas or not.

deconstruction
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17 Dec 2011, 6:02 pm

I NEVER know with these things. Nobody ever invited me for "coffee", so I don't know how it goes.

But this is how I differentiate between a date and a meeting with a friend: if he tries to kiss you, it's definitely a date.

fraac
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17 Dec 2011, 6:04 pm

Again, this is why I'm so glad I don't live in America. In Britain you can say and do anything and it doesn't mean anything until you've had sex three times (or anal sex once).

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17 Dec 2011, 6:07 pm

fraac wrote:

Again, this is why I'm so glad I don't live in America. In Britain you can say and do anything and it doesn't mean anything until you've had sex three times (or anal sex once).

hahahahaha you're joking again aren't you?

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Tequila
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17 Dec 2011, 6:24 pm

fraac wrote:

In Britain you can say and do anything and it doesn't mean anything until you've had sex three times (or anal sex once).

You're going to have to tell me where to find these legions of ladies who will have anal sex with the first person they clap eyes on.

MR20
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17 Dec 2011, 6:38 pm

Magnus_Rex wrote:

It depends on whether the person plays GTA: San Andreas or not.

That's "hot coffee"

fraac
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17 Dec 2011, 6:39 pm

Well not with strangers, that's my point. In Britain, at least in the circles I've been lucky enough to move in, you get to be really close friends without it getting weird. In America it sounds like you have to be very careful to avoid accidentally proposing marriage to acquaintances.

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17 Dec 2011, 6:45 pm

MR20 wrote:

Magnus_Rex wrote:

It depends on whether the person plays GTA: San Andreas or not.

That's "hot coffee"

:lol:

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gadge
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17 Dec 2011, 6:55 pm

The statement "Shall we meet up for coffee" in and of itself is not sufficient to exclain you thoughts, or emotions.

"As a friend" would and/or could be used as a disclaimer/ rejection of (more than friends) as a reply

Start by saying "I think your attractive, I like your (views, sense of humor, etc) , Would you like to go out for possibly lunch or coffee? " "I would like the opportunity to get to know more about you"

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