Dating and "The Scene"

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The dating scene or dating market can be defined as that demographic actively seeking romantic relationships or sexual pairings along with venues that facilitate their meeting (e.g., singles bars, certain coffee shops, interest groups or classes that attract a mixed-gender crowd). An intrepid aspie may venture into a singles bar (i.e., "a meat market") and find himself largely shut out: ignored, disrespected, or worse. In the typical bar or night club, women are treated as property belonging to a date/boyfriend/fiancé/husband, and if you try talking to "someone's woman," you'll get a bellicose response. If you have a long history of sexual frustration, this may be enough to trigger an aggressive reaction in you. As Polaris suggests, the women who aren't all competing for the dumb, assholish "alpha male" are "not a part of the scene" and are thus harder to find; they're probably staying at home practicing a song for Sparkle Pony or watching anime.

The open question then is where and how do we meet women?

There are plenty of places where you can meet alternative women such as conventions, libraries, parks, art classes and community classes. I find that many people in those circles tend to be more appreciative of people who are eccentric or quirky. In other words, what I'm saying is that you need to be yourself and find a girl who will match your preferences or value your personality traits instead of going to a nightclub and putting up a facade.

Internet.

Same here. I live in a rural area & there's not many places to go around here except bars/clubs, casinos & church; I'm a straight-edge secular humanist so my options here are extremely limited. I met women when I was working but I had problems with them after every time I tried asking one of them out; they got upset with me & went out of there way to give me attitude & make my job difficult till they left so I would recommend avoiding asking people out if you are in a position where you will have to see em regularly after(like work or school). I met the two girlfriends I had online by posting about things on forums(my 2nd gf was from here on WP btw). I never had any luck on dating sites & I tried lots of the major 1s as well as smaller specialty type things. I think I sort of lucked into it on forums because people not necessarily looking can get to know me a bit from my post instead of looking at my profile with a check list