aspie needs help with a girl!! !

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baka-kun
Tufted Titmouse
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15 Jan 2012, 6:44 pm

So we were dating for about a month, things were going spectacularly and then they werent. one night we fool around for the first time and the next day she starts acting odd i finally drag whats bothering her out after a couple days. she tells me shes feeling a new emotion and has no idea what it is. a couple days after that we are just friends with the possibility of benefits, but we were barely talking, its been a week sence then we're talking alot, but nothing like we used to and ive gotten a couple smilies so shes starting to open up again but im still lost shes an aspie so am i help



Kenn_San
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15 Jan 2012, 6:51 pm

It's difficult to sometimes gauge a relationship as an aspie.

I've been in a relationship for almost four years now (two of those engaged), she suffers with depression. So of course you can guess what kind of trouble can come.

At the moment we're living back with our parents in order to save to move away so we converse by text mainly. Sometimes if I get the brunt of the depression it can cause me to read into it the wrong way and think things are coming to an end even though we couldn't be happier as a couple.

My advice is to take a step back and take a deep breath and think about the situation realistically - think about each part of what is going on and first think about that your instinct is and have a think of if there is a more possible thing - or even is your mind just overreacting?

Then also try and get her 1-on-1 and talk things through. The best person to ask about what is going through her head is her, and you'll probably get a lot more information.

Whether it's good or bad news, at least you'll know the blunt truth of it all.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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15 Jan 2012, 10:22 pm

After something overwhelming, even something I want and choose, I need alone time. Maybe she does also.



Aitrean
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15 Jan 2012, 10:57 pm

I don't want to sound rude, but I believe that if it's a relationship based on 'fooling around' (friends with benefits = sex?) then there isn't much passionate romance anyway. Perhaps she's on her period, perhaps she's just shallow and only dates guys for sex. But really, if she says "I feel new emotions I don't know about" regardless of whether you're an aspie or not, there's no way you can understand a vague, mysterious, description like that. Regardless of whether you fooled around or not, keep in mind the relationship was only one month long. The first months are usually spent gauging each other. It took three months for my girlfriend and I to just kiss! If it doesn't work out, don't blame yourself for some "new emotion" that suddenly overtook her.



baka-kun
Tufted Titmouse
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16 Jan 2012, 2:23 pm

Its not bases on sex we just got to that point