"In Love"

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Still, why do I have this nagging feeling that this is gonna hurt, more than anything else I have ever experienced?

Congratulations! I think the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" is a normal part of being so very vulnerable.

I'm about your age, and I'm still waiting to meet someone like you describe. I, too, went on tons and tons of dates after my breakup, but I didn't meet anyone I wanted to get to know better as a romantic prospect.

The difference with him was that I looked beyond the attraction and found innocence. I kept my interest level aloof and kept dating. But I found myself going back to him time and time again. I found nothing in his personality to be afraid of. No signs of violence, prejudicial thinking, anger, past issues or regret. He is a safe haven for my heart.

Just remember, we are not your conventional couple. Don't put limits on who you go out with. Our ages are very different, but it works for us.

My now ten-year relationship didn't feel weird for me when we first met, or even when I moved in. The civil partnership wasn't weird either. No, the moment when the other shoe dropped and I realised this was serious was a very silly thing indeed.

We bought a set of sofas.

I think it's because that was the first solid step we'd taken together. Moving in wasn't such a big deal, as I had bugger all to move in with and could have moved out again quite quickly if I'd ever had need to. I had few ties to any one place, and it wasn't the first time I'd moved in with a guy anyway. But buying furniture - that was much more *real*.

It might not be sofas for you. It might be something else. But there'll come a time when you suddenly realise that you're in it for the long haul, and that feels weird and scary and exciting all at once. Since then we've moved house, got a mortgage and adopted a cat. These are all bigger steps than those sofas, which we still have. But it's the sofas that I remember.

Ten years. Sofa, so good...