Friends for now

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I've been seeing this man for the past 6 months. He's never been diagnosed but I'm convinced he's mildly Aspie (my son is too). I hold his hand from time to time. When we talk about where the relationship is going he says he can only be my friend for now. I told him that I thought it was because he was scared and he said he was. He asked me if I was scared and I told him no. Then I asked him why he allowed me to hold his hand and he said because sometimes it feels nice but some others it doesn't but he hasn't said anything because he's afraid I'll get mad at him. He's never had a serious relationship. We spend a lot of time together and I enjoy his company immensely but I want more and he's content where we're at because he says that if we progress I would end up leaving him anyway. His friends tell me to give him time that they've never seen him so comfortable with a woman before. I know he likes me and cares about me. I believe he's just very scared. Oh and he's incredibly stubborn! To the Aspie men out there, what do you recommend I do?

I think you have 2 choices. You can either give him time or you can try to move on. Pressuring him for more is NOT a good idea because he'll get overwhelmed & eventually shut-down if he's not ready for more

maybe you could write him a love letter expressing your feelings for him. if you show him how much you appreciate him, and why you appreciate him, he might strongly consider the possibility that you might be right for him, and give it a shot. like the above poster said, dont pressure him too much! make sure he knows that he is worth the wait, but you are always wishing you were more than just friends.

does he like to cuddle? personally, i'd rather cuddle than do anything else in the entire world. maybe hes the type that doesnt like this sort of thing, but if he does maybe you could ask him if he'd try cuddling with you sometime. you could either ask him randomly "HEY! can we cuddle for a bit?", or say something like "hey i'd really like to try cuddling with you sometime.. would you think about it?"

it will be harder depending on where he is on the spectrum, but it could end up working out

I'm well aware that pressure doesn't work. When he feels overwhelmed he hides for a while and doesn't even answer his phone.

He says that when I write to him it's hard for him to comprehend because he can't feel emotions with the same intensity I do.

Physical contact makes him very tense, except for occasionally holding hands (in private)

Sometimes it makes me feel like he wants me at his side on his terms and that he's already decided that I'm going to leave because that's what every other woman has done in the past so why even try.