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minervx
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06 Feb 2012, 12:17 pm

I found this very attractive girl on OkC, nearby me and messaged her. It took her 3 months to get back to me. We messaged and got along really well, we had a lot in common. She seemed very eager for us to meet. We both went to a busy cafe, we got a glimpse of each other, both got lost and her phone died. She later texted to apologize and proposed we would likely meet a week later, or the week after if she was busy. I replied "okay", but in my mind I really wasn't expecting this to work out.

She deleted me on FB. I texted her "i saw you deleted me on facebook. i get the point, but i want to ask: did i do anything wrong to you or is this impersonal". She replied that it wasn't my her life was an emotional rollercoaster, shes going through a lot now and she cleared out a lot of her contacts. I texted back "i understand. i hope you get better" and deleted her from my phone.

I suspect that she initially wanted to meet me but then changed her mind (due to other factors), but who knows.

Bad first impression or is there something I'm not looking at?



DanRaccoon
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06 Feb 2012, 12:17 pm

She's most likely a b***h. you dodged a bullet. Forget her.


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minervx
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06 Feb 2012, 12:18 pm

DanRaccoon wrote:
She's most likely a b***h. you dodged a bullet. Forget her.


not so much a b***h. just unreliable.



DanRaccoon
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06 Feb 2012, 12:19 pm

An unreliable b***h. Either way it was never meant to be etc. Forget about it.


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minervx
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06 Feb 2012, 12:28 pm

DanRaccoon wrote:
An unreliable b***h. Either way it was never meant to be etc. Forget about it.


She doesn't occupy my mind much, but I don't call women "b*****s" unless they do something really wrong.

Insulting a person if it doesn't work out with both people, not only in this case, but any case is a bad habit. Its not objectively looking at things, unilateral fault rarely exists and it ends up justifying ones own mistakes



nick007
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06 Feb 2012, 12:46 pm

minervx wrote:
DanRaccoon wrote:
An unreliable b***h. Either way it was never meant to be etc. Forget about it.


She doesn't occupy my mind much, but I don't call women "b*****s" unless they do something really wrong.

Insulting a person if it doesn't work out with both people, not only in this case, but any case is a bad habit. Its not objectively looking at things, unilateral fault rarely exists and it ends up justifying ones own mistakes

I think she was leading you or she hated how you looked & she made up an excuse. She was dishonest with you either way


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1000Knives
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06 Feb 2012, 1:59 pm

Or....things could be exactly as she says and she might not want to date anyone right now. I don't think she's just straight out dodging you, as if she was, she'd simply not answer your message ever. That's the way it's been for my "friends" who've dodged me, they just never answer back and that's that. I commend her for at least answering you.

It probably isn't anything you actually did, and even in the off chance it is, she's not telling you what it is, so it's not something for you to worry over, as without knowing it, you can't change it.



Ria1989
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06 Feb 2012, 2:23 pm

minervx wrote:
DanRaccoon wrote:
An unreliable b***h. Either way it was never meant to be etc. Forget about it.


She doesn't occupy my mind much, but I don't call women "b*****s" unless they do something really wrong.

Insulting a person if it doesn't work out with both people, not only in this case, but any case is a bad habit. Its not objectively looking at things, unilateral fault rarely exists and it ends up justifying ones own mistakes


Aw, you're nice. Stay that way! I think it's a good idea not to label without knowing everything first. Good luck finding the one!


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Ummmm....


nick007
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06 Feb 2012, 4:39 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Or....things could be exactly as she says and she might not want to date anyone right now. I don't think she's just straight out dodging you, as if she was, she'd simply not answer your message ever. That's the way it's been for my "friends" who've dodged me, they just never answer back and that's that. I commend her for at least answering you.

It probably isn't anything you actually did, and even in the off chance it is, she's not telling you what it is, so it's not something for you to worry over, as without knowing it, you can't change it.

If she really did not want to date anyone; she would not of been wanting to meet up so bad. Add to that the story about her phone going dead & her suddenly deleting him without giving him an explanation till he commented on it; looks really suspicious to me


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mkoberland
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06 Feb 2012, 6:01 pm

I've had this problem before, too. A lot of NT people just seem to be really unresponsive, even when you take the time to compose a nice, well-written email and such. This happens to me on Facebook and on dating sites. Nobody seems to really take the time to make anything work anymore. It's really frustrating.



techstepgenr8tion
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06 Feb 2012, 7:56 pm

minervx wrote:
DanRaccoon wrote:
She's most likely a b***h. you dodged a bullet. Forget her.


not so much a b***h. just unreliable.

This. Lots of people are basketcases, albeit functional basketcases. Its just another layer of red tape to it all.


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Zinnel
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06 Feb 2012, 8:18 pm

im suspecting anxiety overload,

when im trying to meet people that ive met online, i find it best to set up a situation were theyre with friends they know(and also bring some of my friends along as well)
you tend to hav less "ditchers" that way because they hav friends to make them comfortable

deleting you on facebook is just way that many people deal with things they feel like theyve screwed up on,
kinda like when you write a paper, read it, hate how it sounds, crumple it up and throw it on the floor

its not the most mature way of dealing with people, but it seems like the most common

ether way, srry it went the way it did


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Last edited by Zinnel on 06 Feb 2012, 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

minervx
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06 Feb 2012, 11:31 pm

yeah, zinnel i'd agree.

its not easy to confront people like that, but i dont know what she was going through so i cant judge her.

right now, i'm not beating myself up at all about it.



justalouise
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07 Feb 2012, 4:16 am

I had an online dating profile for a minute when I and my boyfriend were broken up. I went so far as to initiate conversation with a cute, smart, charming, interesting dude. Then I backed out an hour beforehand because I had a sudden "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING I AM SO NOT OVER MY EX" epiphany. He was nice about it.