ADHD and relationships- Trouble listening

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readingteacher
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28 Jan 2012, 4:50 pm

Hello,

I am a 29 year old female who has a diagnosis of ADD ( inattentive type) and the doctor who completed my s neuro psych says I have aspect a nonverbal learning disability but I don't qualify for an actual diagnosis.

Anyways, I have tremendous difficulty listening to verbal information especially when my meds wear off. I often day dream during conversations, need things repeated, have trouble making eye contact, or completely miss what someone says.

This is really affecting my relationship with my partner. She takes it personally when she it appears that I'm not listening and says its hard to feel connectd to me when I have so much trouble understanding what she is saying. Sometimes she gets annoyed when I ask to repeat things. She sometimes gets very frusterated when she is trying to talk to me.

I also think she is having trouble deciding if she can "deal with this." I know she's said "Sometimes I just want to be in a normal relationship where I can have a conversation" This usually comes up in times of extreme stress.

We really do have a great foundation for our relationship. I think it will take 2 to improve the problem. I need to actively use stratigies to actively listen and she needs to be understanding and emphathitic when I do miss something due to daydreaming etc.

I'm taking 36 mg of concerta but its often worn off at night. I may talk to my doctor about taking a smaller dose at night in order to focus a little better and beable to attend.

It's also hard because I feel like when the medicine wears off, I'm "more loopy" for about an half an hour. Being tired or hungry also worsens attention.

Has anyone else had the problem of "attentional difficulties impacting an intimate relationship?

What are some stratigies for both partners?

Is it workable to improve this?



nick007
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28 Jan 2012, 6:52 pm

I have ADD & dyslexia but I don't have that problem in a relationship but my 1st girlfriend had sever ADHD & dyslexia & was like that. It didn't cause many major problems within the relationship because I was very accepting of it & I thought that was really cute. I completely agree that it will take 2 to improve the problem. If she doesn't think she can handle it & she's not willing to take the time to try to understand what your dealing with; it would be best to end the relationship because you will both continue to have major problems


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Mego
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29 Jan 2012, 7:27 pm

A tad off topic....I dealt with someone that seemed to never remember things. Is another part of it to answer with one word and get very upset like the person is patronizing them another sign of ADHD? It was almost like he thought I could read his mind. :?