So I just found my ex on facebook...

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I feel weird right now. It's been 4 years and we left on a sour note, but I'm back in Tokyo now and I sent her a message to meet for coffee and catch up.
I realize now how much I truly love her, I miss her so much. We both have issues and we both don't really fit into our own societies.
She's bipolar and a bit crazy, I have AS and am more than a bit crazy. She is also 13 years older than me.
I just feel indescribable right now, I desperately hope she responds and I desperately hope she agrees to meet. I don't necessarily want to get back together as a couple, for all I know she has a boyfriend or husband,, but I really want to be friends with her.
I love her deeply, but a relationship is just unfeasible, she is 36 and I'm 24, she has kids, I have no education but she is from a rich family.
I just wanted to say it. I have nobody to tell it to so I bare my soul to tEh !NterW3bz'.

I hope things work out in a good way for you. Rather overwhelming situation I can imagine. Why would your education level relative to hers have a bearing on whether you could be together? Is it something about Japanese culture that forbids it? I could understand the age part and the kids part maybe if you don't feel ready for a phase of life with those kind of responsibilities. Or are those parts also not feasible due to cultural stigma. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of things, since you still have to talk to her. So I wish you luck with that!

Are you really sure you want to form a friendship with her? This isn't a fair friendship to you.

I agree, it sounds like your emotions are far too invested to make any logical or rational decision, if her feelings for you have died, it will be very difficult to maintain a stable friendship with her. If you are both mature enough and have a mutual understanding to let the past go, you should but personally I can see this escalating one way or the other.

Yeah, I agree with the others. It's not good to try and be friends with an ex if either of you still have feelings for one another. It just won't work. The one with the feelings will fall back into the old habits and ways of communication and also expectations and that will make the other uncomfortable.

I'm friends with my very first bf. He's my ex fiance. We dated for a little over two years when he was in college. He was two years older than I was and when he got a job on the other side of the state, things fell apart. It didn't end well, but it wasn't bad either. He was just mad at me, thats all. We kept in touch off and on over the years and he took me out to lunch one day when he was in town about 14 years ago. My husband didn't mind. We had kept in touch on the phone and when I got online we kept in touch that way. He was friends with my husband online and they talked about, of course, football. He's married and they adopted two kids from China, and he even brought me and my husband a nice gift from there, and he brought all four of my kids a gift. We still talk occasionally. I wish him well and can look back at the old times with fondness, but not longing. If there is any longing there it's for the fun times of less responsibility and more innocence. Just beeing a teenager I guess. When you can look back on your relationship like that, then you can be friends. It would be very hard for you to try and be friends with her while you have feelings for her still.

I would really reconsider it, because even though there is a small chance you might get back together, the odds are you may end up getting hurt. You have to decide if you can withstand that right now.

^^ you can't compare your case with his case.

Both of you are married, while I assume the OP has no one.

I agree, we all have times when we want to message a love interest or ex from our past with a lovely message and try to work things out, however to sever that feeling, you need to cut all contact with her, at least until you have moved on and can see yourself living a healthy future without her.

You're thinking that by pouring hot chilli essence on that wound - because that's what you're doing - that your feelings won't hurt as much.

I wasn't comparing. I was giving him an example of how things are and relationships are and how feelings are, when you can be friends with your ex without anyone getting hurt.

I was discouraging him from pursuing a friendship right now.

I think I can control any residual feelings I might have for her, I just got a surge of them from seeing her face for the first time in four years. From the looks of things she just made her profile last November.