slowing down in a relationship

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slowing down in an relationship is tough for me anyone have advice?

It's hard to say without knowing the context. Could you offer some details? In general, though, I'd say being open and communicating your thoughts and needs to the other person would be helpful, so they understand what's going on and why you want to slow down.

well she wants to set rules and wants to slow down she still wants to get to know me and idk how we been friends for a long while and idk

Why not let her set the pace? If she is asking to slow down, tell her that you are not sure what she means and then tell her that if she wants to see you, you will wait for her call. That may be a little intimidating for her, but she will appreciate you more for it. She just might change her mind after a short while. When she misses you.