Advice for an Aspie girl with an NT boy

Post Reply New Topic

New here, but i'll do that at the inroductery forum!

I am in a relationship with an NT for about 3 months now and i'm afraid that i might be "turning him off".

I told him about my AS-ness when we first started talking. (I don't like to hide things about myself because He might like the Facade I put up and not who I really am.)

It seems, for me, that I might be acting childish with him. (I have been told I do this). I play around with him and I enjoy touching his face, skin and hair because he has very soft skin and I LOVE how his hair feels!! It's just like a soft newborn poodle!!

I fear that he want's a level of intemacy that I either A) Don't Realize. Or, B) Won't be able to give when I do relize!!

There is not much advice for an Aspie women with a NT men So any advice would be great input from your own expiriences to friendly advice!!

There are two things that destroy relationships faster than anything else. The first is not being yourself, and the second is not communicating. You've made a good start by refusing to hide behind a facade. As far as what he wants out of the relationship - or what you want, for that matter - why don't you ask him? Yes, you might actually scare him off because most people expect their partner to put on a false face, at least in the beginning of a relationship. But if he runs, wave goodby and get on with your life.

As for acting childish, a good relationship is the perfect place to act any way you feel like acting. If he can't take it, then he's not right for you anyway. Stick to your guns, be yourself, and communicate, communicate, communicate.

Good luck,

geezer

It's important to recognise that you have gotten that far - some never do! So well done. But let's focus on keeping your partner just that.



WEIRD. *shrugs* Oh well.



First of all, if you are having any fears then it might be an idea to talk with your bf a little and see what he thinks of the matter. You might like to stress that AS-people cannot mind-read the way that NTs can and, thus, you cannot tell what he wants without him begin verbally definite.

Typically the problems that abound in AS-NT relationships is communication of emmotional things. Your ability to hear and understand emotional disclosures by him is affected as a result of having AS -- even when they are verbalised.

Some people with AS have learnt to be highly-succesful in relationships through practice and learning. You must practice. i.e. talk to him.

(hope this is a little useful)

J

May I ask how old you are? That may influence the way some may answer your question.

By the way, being older is not a prerequisite for falling in love.

SheDevil
(NT)

I am 18

Haha that's funny, I liked touching my ex gf's hair. She told me she didn't like me touching her hair very much though :-\, but it felt really nice.