Im only 17, so i can't say i understand how you feel, or even say what it can be like to go through such tihngs. But the fact is that if you are looking for other men and trying to finish your marrage, that is a lot to put on one plate. it's hard, and divocres or annulments can be a stressful time, and simply dating people while stressed can cause more hurt, that much i know, and i think managing what you do and doing one thing at a time can make this easier for all. As a male, i know that men can enjoy folllowing those to play hard to get, so if you like this other guy, try to keep him interested while you shake off those bad chains of marrage. If your husband is as bad as you make him out to be, don't hold back and get out now. And then once your free the world is your candy store.
I wish you good luck in whatever you decide upon.
Chris