Did you respond especially awfully to heartbreak?

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For me, I lost my ability to communicate because my ego shut me down. I am now constantly panicky and paranoid, no matter how much support I get. I became masochistic and self-defeating.

How long has it been since the break-up? I think most of us tend to respond pretty badly to having our hearts broken and I've done some things post-break-ups that I'm not particularly proud of, but it does usually get better with time. Hang in there!

Going from my personal expedience of two relationships ending; I think it depends. I handled the 1st one horribly because it 1st relationship & I was unstable. I handled the 2nd one pretty well for the most part but we had been having some problems that I kept compromising on & I had been having this nagging feeling that our relationship was kind of one-sided.

The first time was pretty bad, was in a bad mood for about a week afterwards.
The second time around basically just looked at it in a "F**k it, it's not the end of the world" way.
So now I'm basically prepared for future heartbreak if any..

I go into extremely bad depression and a severe meltdown creeps up accompanied by guilt and low self esteem. I get the feeling I am unwanted, a failure not worthy to stay in love, or worthy to pass on my genes in the future as well, and as an expendible unit to be cast aside for something better and rendered obsolete. I dwell on self hatred for a long time and shut my self off from the rest of the world sometimes inflicting self harm feeling I must punish myself for being a failure and a dissapointment. It takes me a long time to move on when it was with someone I was in love with and been with for a while. If its someone I am not as strongly emotionally attached like I just met her and dated for a couple days or weeks I kind of shrug it off like no big deal. But after a few months or longer it starts to.

The last time (4 years ago?)I I had nightmares about it, woke up screaming and crying, gave myself a black eye and had several 'bouts of screaming and crying pitifully on the floor of my room. Depression, followed by obsession followed, then minor-stalking (only FB stuff) and then finally I stopped caring.

Yeah, no wonder I have no desire for relationships.

To an extent, I had my 1st adult relationship in '99 and still haven't completely recovered from that. Many factors involved; me forgetting that she was mentally at a different level from the beginning, my aspie loyalty that gets mistaken for smothering, her prior and unbeknownst to me hard drug use, the relationship as an entity becoming my latest special interest, my not pursuing my individual special interests enough, my state of self confidence being that I felt she was the best thing I was ever going to get from life, to the classic placing her on a pedestal. Between these and her running off with a parolee with no future I happened to know, I was PTSDing severely and self-medicated in a careless manner. By my thinking, if a girl this wacked out can't stand me, what chance do I stand with one who has herself together?

My last relationship ended over three years ago. I was struggling to find a job after college, so she called me a loser and dumped me over the phone. The police took me a psych ward because I posted on FB that I'm going to kill myself. After that I was so depressed I could barely come out of my apartment at all for months, and have been struggling with depression ever sense. I even tried to mutilate my face once. And the saddest part is this: I wasn't upset over her leaving me. I was upset because I knew that no other woman would ever want to be with me again. And I haven't had a girlfriend sense then.

Mutilate your face? Yikes! I've heard of post-breakup depression but that takes the cake! My first boyfriend broke up with me and that was painful because I didn't see it coming. Years later I broke up a relationship because I had to choose being with somebody and pursuing a career in music. Horrible choice. I'm paying for that decision till now.

I can relate to it. I slashed my arm 9x after my & my 1st girl broke up because i was suffering from a psychotic depression. I didn't feel any of it at all; it was like I was watching myself do it.

After my 2nd 'dating' experience ended I got the bright idea to emulate Slayer's 'Divine Intervention' album cover and 'bladed' my forehands to make them read my state of mind at the time. Needless to say, rather than the desired effect of people approaching me to ask or comment, it had quite the opposite