I have a prospect! Advice needed for risky/spontaneous stuff
OK there's a girl who lives on my floor in college who's about as old as I am (I'm 25).
Here's the background info:
- We're both into computer/web stuff
- She's not *extremely* good looking, but I find her cute
- She just seems to go along with everything
- She hardly ever comes out of her room
- We've known each other since the beginning of the school year, and cross paths maybe 3 times a week. A lengthy (15-minute+) conversation often ensues.
Now to the relevant stuff: Last night there was an event where there was free bowling, pool, X-box, and food at our student union, and I had originally planned on going. I asked her if she wanted to go, and having nothing else to do, she accepted and we both went. First we bowled one game, and I ended up beating her by more than double her score. She said she didn't want to bowl anymore, so I asked her if she wanted to play Halo 2 on the X-box. She hadn't played X-box before, but I offered to teach her and she said OK.
I taught her the basic controls, and she caught on, but let me tell you, she was making a fool out of herself trying to figure out how to aim accurately, how to drive the vehicles, etc. but she got really into it! I ended up winning 10-0, and then two other guys came and joined in and annihilated both of us...but I think I got her hooked on Halo 2 (she already asked about my friend who has the X-box with H2).
She's already said she'd go with me to a Halloween event...I can see myself with a fair shot at her, so long as a.) I don't reveal my cards too soon, and b.) she doesn't see me as boring (not spontaneous, adventurous enough)...both these problems killed my previous prospect. I already know not to be too dependable or ask her availability too much.
My question: Given the above background info, what kinds of things can I do to be spontaneous, risky, and adventurous with her so that she doesn't view me as boring?
It's never a good idea to act differently than you really are in order to impress someone, especially not a possible romantic partner. It creates a false impression that, when seen through, creates distrust and can act to drag out a relationship that would better have been discontinued earlier, as difficult as that is to hear. But it really is best to get down to brass tacks early on and sort out the likelihood of mutual compatibility and go from there. The worst case scenario that I foresee is that you both pretend to be some kind of outgoing adventure god in order not to risk alienating the other with the "boring" nature each of you feel you possess. You say she almost never leaves her room? Then why would she think you're any more boring than she is? And by pretending to the contrary, you could, in fact, put her off.
X-Box and Bowling; the fact that she is still considering this shows that she does like you. Take advantage. Don't go rock climbing or hang gliding or anything like that, but a girl would maybe appreciate a nice dinner/movie combo that doesn't involve aliens shooting each other. Risk and spontenaety(0 chance I spelled that right) are good things when with the normal types.
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On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
